Inside the club. Instead of enjoying the truckloads of hot women, Ted is whining about an ethical philosophical wormhole. As Barney touts his green suit to the ladies, Ted says that he's been rewarded all night for his bad behavior: he ditches his friends, then is rewarded with two hot girls. He ditches the two hot girls and is rewarded with a room full of them. "38 looong," Barney announces. Ted thinks the laws of the universe are working in reverse. A woman at the bar puts her drinks on a tab for "Garrido." Ted tempts the Gods by ordering two bottles of Dom Perignon and putting it on the Garrido tab. It works! A cute girl who just happens to be dating Nick Lachey comes up and pinches Ted for not wearing green. Barney pretends to be wearing teal. She is Ashlee "With two e's." Barney tells Ted, "Please. Two C's at most." She invites them to come share a bottle of tequila with her and her friends who have "Shockingly deep belly buttons." Er... nice? Ted thinks that bad things are causing good things to happen. Barney thinks the universe is telling them that they have a free pass to do whatever they want. Barney gives the speech with his eyes closed. "There is no tomorrow," he says gravely. Ted buys into the theory. They get free caviar to go with their champagne. We cut straight to the two of them partying with a huge group of hot girls saying, "No tomorrow!" Barney wonders what the grown-ups are doing.
They are playing Hungry Hungry Hippos on the floor of the apartment. Lily keeps winning because the floor is tilted in her favor. The painting falls. A bottle tumbles across the floor. Lily asks what's going on. Marshall makes up a story about a Confederate ghost. It's pretty lame, even for a ghost story. Robin backs him up, reluctantly. Marshall says it's a general who died in an army hospital that used to stand on this land. Lily is skeptical at first. She says Marshall sees ghosts everywhere, even at Starbucks. "That Kenny G CD flew off the shelf!" he says. Robin says it's the last time that happened. Wow. A Kenny G joke? 'Tis the season for sitcom jokes from 1989. I blame the strike. Lily starts to get scared. She jumps into Marshall's arms.