Ted's phone rings. It's Barney. He says he's in a cab with two hot girls heading downtown. And this is true. They are hot. And he is in a cab. "Yes, it happens that fast!" Barney says. Ted still doesn't want to go. Barney goes into "Convince" mode. He tells Ted that he didn't want to say it in front of Lily and Marshall, but that the world is ending tonight. He ties together Nostradamus with Notre Dame with Fighting Irish with St. Patrick's Day. Huh. Makes sense to me. Barney tells his Bro that it's the Bro-pocalypse. It's Bro-mageddon. I wonder if they'll get lucky and Bro-create. He asks if Ted wants to spend his last night on Earth with a married couple. Ted turns to Lily and Marshall. Marshall's hands smell weird. He puts them in Lily's face. She agrees it's a weird smell. "That's new," she says. Ted agrees to go. Barney tells his dates that Ted's a great guy and they're gonna love him.
SagetTed explains that on March 17, 2008, he went to a big St. Patrick's Day party. We see people standing outside a building under umbrellas. It's raining something fierce. He says he's lucky he did because... wait for it... The Mother was there. We pan across and see a yellow umbrella. Yee-haw!
Outside the club, it has stopped raining. Ted meets up with Barney and his two lady companions. It's a Bro-nanza! "Haaaave you met Ted?" Barney asks. Mary, a tall brunette, and Stephanie, a shorter, but no less hot, brunette, both introduce themselves. Barney pulls Ted aside and they have a pointless aside where Barney calls dibs on Stephanie. But when Ted is fine with that, Barney decides he wants Mary. Ted's fine with either one. It goes back and forth until Barney decides he'd rather have them both. "You're an idiot," Ted says. He says it's a moot point since they might not get in. There's a long line. Ted thinks it's karma for ditching Marshall and Lily. Barney walks to the door man and holds up his fist for some dap. No dap is to be had. Barney tries to bribe the guy with low numbers of dollars. The guy asks if it's just Ted and Barney. They point to their hot dates in hopes of not blowing the guy/girl ratio. Surprisingly, the man says that if it was just Barney and Ted, he'd led them in. He says there's nothing but girls inside and people are going to think it's a lesbian bar. All right, what's the opposite of a sausage fest? Salad soiree? Ted and Barney need a consult. Barney thinks something planetary is going on. He says that in the history of NYC clubs, there's never been a shortage of dudes, not even during the Great Dude Shortage of 1883. Barney thinks they need to ditch the girls. He says he doesn't see no rings on these fingers. Ted asks the door man if the girls inside are hotter than their dates. "I don't know if they're hotter... but they're drunker." Action decided. Ted and Barney go inside. Men behaving badly!