Robin protests that she was young. (Barney: "YEAH you were.") She didn't know any better! (Barney: "They never do.") It started with modeling! (Barney: "It always does.") So let's go to the videotape. In a schoolgirl outfit and a ratty blonde wig, Robin begs a "teacher" for forgiveness for being a "bad girl." She'll do anything, in fact, to make it up to him. Satisfied that this can only mean porn, porn, porn, Barney stops it on account of "Robin's dignity." Then, declaring it "slap o'clock," he turns and smacks an unprepared Marshall in the face. Robin doesn't get it, so Barney explains how there was this bet that she did porn. Robin tells them that it isn't porn -- it's actually worse than porn.
Robin restarts the video. "I know!" on-screen ratty blonde Robin says to the teacher. "How about I...sing you a song!" Anchored by a stonewashed denim mini and a matching jacket with the sleeves pushed up, Robin's look is largely Electric Youth-era Debbie Gibson, as is the dancing, but the song, "Let's Go To The Mall," reminds me most of "Let's Hear It For The Boy." Around the computer, Robin's friends are horrified. "I was a teenage pop star in Canada," Robin finally admits. Let it out, Robin. You'll feel better. She explains that as a result of her "one minor hit," she had to go all over in Canada singing this song in various malls. She lived on "Orange Julius and Wetzel's Pretzels" for a whole year. Marshall doesn't understand why this early-'90s video looks like 1986. "The '80s didn't come to Canada till, like, '93," she pouts. Hey, Robin -- at least you didn't wind up on Skating With Celebrities. It could have been a lot worse.
Marshall has something to say. This, he points out, is not porn. "And yet a slap occurred without the permission of the slap bet commissioner," Lily says sternly, staring at Barney. Marshall accuses Barney of "premature slapulation." They're interrupted by Ted's insistence that they listen to Robin...rapping. Hee. Barney's punishment, Lily explains, is either ten slaps now or five slaps that Marshall can hand out at any time in the future. Robin says she'd totally take the five -- why not five instead of ten? But Ted thinks the fear of being slapped would be worse. (Interestingly, it contradicts their personalities a little, in that you might think it would be Robin leading the charge against the fear of fear itself, since she seems so uncomfortable with anything that leaves her with the possibility of disappointment.) Barney agrees with Robin and takes the five slaps. Marshall then reaches for a drink on the table, and Barney flinches away from him. This is where Marshall realizes that these five slaps will pay off for a long time.