We cut to Robin's apartment. Ted shows up way late, at 9:30, but nobody else is there. Ted asks where Marshall and Lily are. Cut to Lily working in fast-motion in her kitchen while Marshall sits on the couch watching TV and exercising his slapping hand. Side-whoosh back to Robin telling Ted that Bob is out seeing Green Day. Awkward pre-pie-making conversation. They have nothing to talk about. Ted calls Barney and tries to get him to come over. Barney, at the bar, agrees. Turns out he's just making up an elaborate story about saving a soldier's life for a girl he's trying to impress. Ted figures it out. He asks if Barney is coming over to make pies. "No, no. Thank YOU, Mr. President," Barney says.
The next day. Lily asks Marshall if he's helping with the cranberries. Marshall says he's only got so many hands. He holds up an attractive row of hand-turkeys made of construction paper. He holds them up for Barney to see. Marshall says they're going to eat turkey, and later he's going to slap Barney in the face. He's so happy. It's awesome. Barney goes on about the suspense being taken out of the slap. He says in horror movies, the killer doesn't announce when he's going to kill the teens. "P.S., fire is my one weakness," he says. Robin shows up. She goes to talk to Lily while Ted goes speak to Marshall. In split-screen, they each tell their best friend that something weird happened the night before. My wife, who's not even paying attention asks, "They slept together?" Oh, sitcom.
Ted is telling Marshall the story of what happened. We flash back to Robin's kitchen, where she and Ted have nothing to say to each other as they make pies. Ted explains that it's hard to talk to your ex alone. Barney tries to jump in and say that you don't want to hurt someone you care about, especially during the holidays. Marshall says he's still getting slapped. Damn right. Ted says he couldn't leave Robin to make the pies alone; she was exhausted.
In Lily's kitchen, Robin says she yawned a million times to get Ted to leave, but he wouldn't take the hint. Lily tries to get Robin to take the hint that she's busy cooking. Robin doesn't help. Robin says that when Ted panics, he says the same thing that comes to his head. Flashback to Robin's kitchen: she tells Ted that the first pies came from ancient Egypt. Ted: "Remember last year's Thanksgiving, when we had sex seven times?" Ugh. Everyone in the present day agrees that that was really bad. Robin, the night before, puts out another Egypt fact in hopes of defusing the situation. More cooking. Robin is making a pecan pie. Ted asks why they're making that. Robin lies that it's her favorite. Ted says she's allergic. Robin says she just likes to smell it. "So we're making a pie for Bob," Ted realizes. Are you dizzy from all the flashbacks? I sure am. In the present, Barney seems to disagree with the notion of making a pie for Bob. "Yeah, that's a real slap in the face," Marshall adds. Back to last night: Ted and Robin are having an argument about jealousy. Ted pretty cruelly makes fun of Bob's age. He says Bob was actually at the first Thanksgiving, got chocolate from Noah on the Ark and discovered fire. Robin asks why he's bashing on Bob so hard. She says it's mean. Robin says that she's not sleeping with Bob, unlike Ted with his recent string of conquests. She asks why it's so weird to make a pie for Bob if they're such good friends. Ted yells that she should have told him that's what they were doing. Ted goes to leave. They apologize. And say they're glad to be friends. And hug. Then start kissing. Oh darn.