Flash back to Karen and Ted's lunch. They laugh about how pretentious they "used to be" and then their waiter arrives. And because this show gives good love, the waiter is Scooter, earning Lily's love, even though she may never know it. Karen proceeds to tell Scooter about an error on their wine list. Ted gasps, while Karen advises Scooter to alert the sommelier. Meanwhile, Ted goes off-menu, because why not be pretentious, when you're Ted and you can? Flash forward to MacLaren's. Ted says it went great, and just got a little awkward toward the end. Robin says, "How do you say good-bye in those situations? A kiss on the cheek is too familiar. A handshake is too formal." Barney adds, "And a hug is just like a public dry hump." Ew. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! Marshall agrees and tells him, "I think you're hugging wrong." See? Lily wants to know what happened. And I'm sure she's sorry she asked, because the lunch date with Karen ended with a kiss -- a passionate kiss. Lily tells him, "Ted, honey, I want you to go outside and bite the curb. I'll be out in a minute." You know, I love the sweetness between her and Marshall, but I think I love their nastiness even more.
Ted blabs excuses about Karen being his first love, and the tough year he's had, and then deflects the conversation back to Marshall and his stunning lack of pants at the office. Barney starts chanting for the pants story, but Marshall insists there is no story. So? We flash back to the no-story story. Marshall calls Lily at work and explains his need of pants, which has been compounded by a mustard incident that took out his backup pair. [Note that the pregnant Alyson Hannigan, who's been sitting down this entire episode, is now standing behind a massive, stomach-level globe. Also, note that I'm wondering how an elementary school teacher has the free time to go home and bring Marshall a pair of pants. I can't imagine she has a free period. - Zach] Flash forward to MacLaren's. Lily's not letting Ted distract them from the Karen story and insists he finish. When he insists there was just one kiss... "in the restaurant." Lily calls him out on his qualifier, which is a great thing about old friendships, isn't it? The good ones are so onto your B.S., you shouldn't even bother. Flash back to Ted's apartment -- he and Karen enter, in the dark, joined at the lips, tearing off each other's clothes. Flash forward to MacLaren's. Everyone's disgusted, even Barney, who moans, "Ted how could you?" Of course he also reaches behind Robin's back to give Ted a high five, so maybe he's less committed to his condemnation of Ted than are the others. Lily comments that although Marshall forgot to bring his pants to work today, Ted's still the stupidest person at the table.