Side-whoosh back to the apartment. Any minute now, the test results will be posted online. Marshall's annoyed the scores aren't up yet. Lily is sure that Marshall "Rocked" the test. Based on your debt, you'd better hope so. Robin asks how many people fail the bar. "Half," Marshall says. D'oh! Robin can't believe it. Barney sees something on his iPhone that's awesome and wants to show Marshall on the computer. Why can't he show it on the iPhone? Marshall doesn't want to give up the laptop. Barney says he has to see this. Barney says it's a video of a dog pooping on a baby. Damn, that does sound awesome. Marshall asks why he'd need to see that. He asks that about four different ways. Barney explains, "It's a DOG pooping on a BABY!" He's right! Marshall shoos Barney away while Barney tries to get him to Google "Caca Spaniel." Hee. Marshall's results are in. Everyone comes around. The site is asking for a password. Marshall doesn't have it. He looks in the desk (why would it be at Ted's place and not at the new apartment?) and finds a slip of paper. It says, "Jelly beans, fluffernutter, gummi bears, ginger snaps..." It's a shopping list. Sugar helps Marshall study. Barney says it's a shopping list you'd give a 10-year-old left home alone for a weekend. Lily asks who leaves a 10-year-old at home alone. Barney's mom, apparently. Marshall freaks out because he still can't find his password. Ted asks if Barney can't just call and get the results. Marshall says he'll have wait until it comes in the snail mail and that their postal carrier hates him since he asked when the baby was due. "She wasn't pregnant?" Robin asks. "No, he was not," Ted says. Robin suggests Marshall just keep it off his mind until the results come in the mail. Marshall's cell rings. It's a friend calling to say they passed the bar. Another friend calls. Marshall has to keep explaining that he lost his password. He yells at a third caller who's asking the same question. It's his grandma.
MacLaren's. Marshall thinks he'll have a heart attack from not knowing the results. Barney thinks he'll go down from diabetes first, based on his grocery list. Barney tells Marshall there's a way to help. He knows a guy at work who can penetrate a firewall and retrieve a password through a secure server. Marshall wants to meet a guy in a dark garage and wear a trenchcoat. Pervert. Barney tells him to be cool and on that weird non-laugh, we go to commercials.
Back at the bar booth, Ted is trying to pretend he just got off the phone with Cathy and totally figured out what it is about her that annoys everyone else. He hears it now. Or sees it. Smells it? The gang doesn't fall for it. Ted demands to know what Cathy could have done that was so horrible in the two minutes he left the table. Pretend-flashback scenarios: Cathy tells everyone but Ted that she once started a rumor that her English teacher had sex with her. He's still in jail. Scenario #2: Cathy volunteers at the pound and enjoys putting puppies to sleep. She even wears bracelets made from their collars. Scenario #3: Cathy used to have a penis. Back in reality, Robin says it's nothing Cathy did while Ted was gone from the table; it's just who she is. Ted can't figure out why he can't see this flaw that everyone else sees. Marshall says Ted is driving the "I want to have sex with her" truck and that it's got a huge blind spot. Barney does story-time. It's about a girl named Lucilia he wanted to have sex with. The camera zooms in very slowly on his monologue. Barney had sex in Rio for 10 hours on the beach with the girl and she applauded and told Barney he was the best lover ever. He restored her faith in God. Ted asks what that has to do with Cathy. "Who's Cathy?" Barney asks. Rimshot! Tip your waitresses, folks! I'm here 'till Sunday and then it's off to the Ha-Ha Club in Kalamazoo! G'night! Ted really wants to know the flaw. Marshall asks if he's sure he wants to shatter this beautiful illusion he's created. Slowly, Marshall says, "Cathy...talks...a LOT." Everyone agrees. Ted doesn't believe it. Robin asks him to really remember what the dinner was like. "And I did," SagetTed says, gravely.