How I Met Your Mother

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Omar G: B+ | 1 USERS: A-
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Spoiler Alert

Dinner flashback. Cathy is asking Robin again about the chicken or lasagna. Before Robin can answer, Cathy launches into a whole thing about lasagna, chicken, and then pork. She recounts much of the movie Babe including the phrase, "Bah, Ram, Ewe!" That's a sorority she would totally rush. We cross-fade to what must be hours later and now Cathy's talking about Dr. Seuss. "Lasagna!" Robin finally snaps. "Just get the lasagna!" Ah. Robin's not a total prick after all. Cathy asks Lily and Marshall about their new place. Before Lily can answer about how many rooms they have, Cathy is already is on about futons and Murphy beds. She's Chatty Cathy. Ted is so enthralled by the conversation he doesn't notice it's completely inane. We cross-fade to Cathy saying that it was a half-hour before she noticed Ted wasn't on the phone with her anymore. Hysterical! "Two! It's two bedrooms!" Lily snaps. Marshall is roused from a light doze. Cathy starts going about the best cannolis in town. We whoosh back to Ted. We hear glass shatter. SagetTed says the illusion was shattered. "Wow...she just never shuts up, does she?" Ted realizes. Robin says the girl didn't even chew her food. She was scared for her. At first. And on that second light, light joke, we go to commercials. Wow, did the Writers Strike begin early on this show?

SagetTed is telling the kids (singing) in the year 2030 (/singing) that his date wouldn't stop talking. "Can you imagine how awful that is?" he asks. His son seems to kind of know. We cut back to the same side-scroll set of scenes as from the beginning, only this time, Ted is bored out of his mind on the couch as Cathy talks, putting a spoon in her mouth to shut her up in the kitchen and giving her a flower on the street just so shut up about autumn. As they jog together, Ted runs ahead to stop listening to her blather. This time she's wearing aqua instead of pink, which I guess is less cute somehow.

Back at the apartment. Ted is annoyed at Marshall for telling him Cathy's flaw, even though he begged incessantly. Ted sort of knows he only has himself to blame. But he has to make a big deal about it anyway. Marshall is surprised Cathy didn't tell Ted herself, given the finite number of words in the English language. Ted says she has other great qualities: she's smart, she's caring, she loves animals. And she's hot! Marshall suggests Ted teach her a lesson by buying her a parrot. Thud. The jokes: they can't all be winners, folks. Marshall says it's normal for there to be annoying things in a relationship you get used to. Ted sees the logic, like how Marshall got used to Lily's loud chewing. Marshall doesn't follow. Ted asks why Marshall thinks he calls Lily "Chewbacca." Marshall thought it was because she's loyal (not really), wears shiny belts, and because he resembles a young Harrison Ford. Ted asks Marshall to think about it. Side-whoosh to Lily eating a carrot, really loudly. Ted is on the couch with her, disgusted. Marshall doesn't notice. Cut to the kitchen, where Lily is eating from a bag of chips, really loudly. Ted, getting a cup, can't stand it. Cut to a city street. Marshall, Ted, and Lily are walking. Somehow, Lily is making loud chomping sounds eating pink cotton candy. It sounds like sandpaper. We whoosh back to Marshall. Glass-shattering sound. Marshall thinks this is the meanest thing Ted has ever done to him. Ted thought Marshall knew. He thought it sounded like Jurassic Park the other night when they had ribs. Marshall pretends it doesn't matter. "But it did," SagetTed says. Cut to Lily eating Fruit Loops. Loudly. Extremely unflattering HD closeup of Lily's mouth as she crunches. Marshall asks what's in the cereal besides twigs and small animal bones. Marshall says he loves her, but when she eats it sounds like a garbage disposal full of drywall screws. Wow. That's really specific. Lily is hurt. She asks why this just came up after 10 years of dating.

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How I Met Your Mother

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