Flashback to the year 2000 and Marshall is served the burger. We get extremely gross close ups of Jason Segal chewing. If Stella were in this episode, I'd get her to check out those moles, stat. We see him gaze up in appreciation and he catches site of celebrity photos on the wall, including one of Regis Philbin. Okay, "celebrity" photos. Marshall runs back to his apartment and startles a sleeping Ted who whacks him over the head with the baseball bat Marshall had been using for protection when he was afraid to be in New York. After he recovers, he proselytizes to Ted about the burger joint and they rush back out into the night, but never find it. They're so unfamiliar with the city that it takes three hours and assistance from a very helpful drag queen to find their apartment. Marshall says, "Wait, Bette Noire was a drag queen?" Bête noire. Get it? Had she only dumped them at a joke store, where they could have picked up something funny to distract the audience. Robin says, "Where do you think it was?" and Lily replies, "Probably tucked between her legs." You can almost hear the writers. "This episode isn't funny enough. I think it should be funnier. Where's the emergency joke list? 'Drag Queens'? Check. 'Penis jokes'. Quick, make a penis joke. Have one of the girls make it. That will be shocking." Ugh. Barney reminds the crew that getting a home equity loan at Goliath National Bank is not a drag. Lily looks at him funny and Marshall warns him off with his eyes as if to say, "Don't give away the surprise ending where you find me a job at Goliath National Bank." It's sad when I'm laughing the hardest at the coincidence of this episode airing the day the world ran out of money. Wait 'til tomorrow, Barney.
Marshall's still mourning the fact that he never again found his burger joint. Another MacLaren's customer pops over the back of his booth and tells him that the place he's looking for is The Corner Bistro. Marshall is almost as annoyed by him as the audience is by this episode. "Oh, oh, The Corner Bistro. Ha! It's amazing. I spent a quarter of my life searching for the best burger in New York City, but silly me, it never occurred to me to check the highest rated burger in the Zagat Guide. Wow. Thanks a lot, guy. Let me return the favor. For a great cup of coffee? Starbucks. Shhhh." That was... bracing. Marshall's generally adorable even when he's angry, but not this time. Marshall's tried every burger place in the whole city. We see snippets of him and Lily at different restaurants, with a picture of Regis prominently displayed over each table, but they're never the one. It's just like Ted's search for a wife.