Hey, this episode was kind of decent! I laughed several times, everyone had kind of a great moment, and while it didn't actually further the larger plot (we still don't know who Barney is marrying), the show seems to have remembered what we liked about these characters to begin with. Way to go, show!
We pick up with Barney getting ready to walk down the aisle and he's freaking out in metaphor about picking the wrong tie ("it's skinny now, but what if it gets fat"?) and being stuck with it for life. His options seem to be either Robin or Nora, and given that Lily comes in at some point telling Ted that the "bride" is asking for him, I guess we can't expect that ol' Barney is taking advantage of New York's new gay marriage laws. Also, why would Nora ask for Ted? Though that woman is quite the mystery.
Barney's also panicked that his wedding will be the worst ever, which triggers a flashback to Punchy's wedding to Kelly. Ted's the best man and is supposed to give one of his notorious depressing speeches (there are fans from Finland who flew in to see the YouTube sensation Shmosby). But Ted's not in a downward tailspin of a relationship right now (like usual), instead he's on the cover of New York magazine and trying to use that. However, everyone around him has babies (turning future father Marshall into a puddle of drunken goo) and is moving on with his life and he would like to have a person to love, so he's going to go back to the Ted that believes in destiny. He also ends up giving a really teary speech because after hiding it for the entire day, Marshall and Lily spill the beans about their baby right before he's set to deliver his toast. Marshall yells at the obnoxious wedding goers who are making fun of Shmosby's pain, and accidentally reveals that the bride is knocked up, queuing a family brawl. As you do.
Meanwhile, Lily reveals that Robin is still in love with Barney, because of Robin's squeaky little girl truth voice that she uses sarcastically when she really wants something to be true (like a Spice Girls reunion, or her father actually loving her). Robin is about to confess her feelings, until Barney whisks her off her feet and the two do an amazing dance to "Groove Is in the Heart." Directly after their dance --which was better than all of the numbers on the Dancing With the Stars premiere tonight -- Barney gets a call from Nora and Robin helps him woo the woman he wants.
Also, Barney spends most of the wedding being Barney. He tries out some of his pick up lines. "Get ready Cleveland, the last man to screw you this hard and then disappear was LeBron James." Among his gimmicks are an escaped manslaughterer, patient zero and a Guinness record holder for fingernail growth.
The other clever moments were having FutureTed tell his kids that he was almost done with his story, but then not really. And then there's a reference to a ducky tie, which prompts FutureTed to say, "Man, we're not even close yet." I'd be annoyed about them joking about toying with us, but it was such a good episode, that I'm feeling generous.