The next night, SagetTed explains, things didn't go as planned. In the apartment, Lily is showing Ted, who is lounging on the couch, some carpet samples for the new apartment. Carpet? Are you serious? That place had rockin' hardwood floors! One sample of carpet is softer, but the other one has a nicer color. Lily talks horny thinking about bodies lying on carpet. Ted just heard the same spiel about bathroom tiles. He gets a call from Marshall, who pretends to be Stella so Lily won't overhear. Marshall does a high girly voice, unnecessarily and hilariously. He asks Ted to come downstairs and see him. "I love you!" he adds. Ted loves Marshall, too. After the call, Lily asks if Ted is "Hittin' that."
Out on the street, Marshall is holding a box of his office belongings and eating a messy burger. "I'm in trouble, Ted!" he says. After a commercial break to suffer this incredible cliffhanger, we end up in Ted's new car, where Marshall is freaking out. He's also holding half a burger and a soft drink. Ted asks him to be careful. You know, it's a new car and all. Marshall says he did something stupid and he begs Ted to just drive anywhere. Uh, yeah, about that... it's a really good parking space. Ted doesn't want to give it up. Marshall says he was going to give the Lily speech, but he got derailed. "There's a LOT of ketchup on the burger," Ted says, ever vigilant. Marshall says he went down to the diner the night before to finish working on The Ninja Report. Side-whoosh to the diner, where Marshall is hard at work. Barney suddenly appears right in front of Marshall, startling him. Barney warns him that if he uses Lily's speech, he'll be torn apart. Barney offers to order up food. Marshall wants a BLT with gravy fries. Barney calls over the waiter and orders a green tea with lemon for himself and a meatloaf for Marshall. It's part of his plan. Barney says that the Chain of Screaming is real (if not a "Circle") and that Marshall has to scream at someone to get this out of his system. Barney's plan is that Marshall will scream at the waiter for messing up his order. Marshall says he can't do that.
The story is interrupted by Robin piling in to Ted's car holding the biggest ice scream scoop on a cone ever. She wants to hear the story. She offers Ted a lick. He asks the ice cream cone is big enough. "Uhhh, it's delicious enough," she answers. I wish they wrote Robin this well every week. Side-whoosh to the diner. Barney is trying to convince Marshall to yell at the waiter. The waiter brings the food, remarkably quickly, with an, "Enjoy, my friends." Marshall tentatively tries to say that it's not what he ordered. Marshall tries to be stern and to say that as the customer, he is always right. The waiter ain't having it. He yells at Marshall that he's at the end of an 18-hour triple shift and that he's going to go home to get yelled at by his wife for never being home. Even Barney is like, "Daaaayum!" "No! No! You eat your damn meatloaf!" the waiter yells. Awesome.