How I Met Your Mother

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The Chain of Screaming

Story interrupted again, this time by Barney jumping into the backseat with Robin (calm down, it'll happen) and smoking a giant cigar. "Sweet! Can I get a toot?" Robin asks. I don't know. Is it delicious enough? Ted freaks out about car rules. Barney says the cigar is Cuban and people pay to have their cars smell like this. "Well, that's just not true," Ted groans. As Barney and Robin argue again about shotgun, Marshall yells that he's trying to tell a life-altering story. He continues. Outside the diner, Barney is pulling Marshall into an alley after Marshall left a 20 percent tip. Barney offers to take the yelling. Marshall weakly tries. It's awful. He tries to get personal by saying Barney doesn't look as good as he thinks in suits. He calls Barney's mom a slut. He says Barney and his brother clearly have different fathers because Barney's mom is a "Slutty slut." Barney tells him to keep going. Marshall yells that Bob Barker is not Barney's father. Barney pretends to be hurt by that, breaking Marshall's momentum, but he was totally playing. He tells him to keep going. Marshall yells that Barney was abandoned and can't feel anything and that if he continues on this path, he's going to turn into Barney. The yelling cuts to Marshall giving the same speech to Arthur. "This is not why I became a lawyer! This is not the person I want to be! I quit, Arthur, I quit!" Arthur says he needed to hear that. Because now that Marshall has quit, they don't have to pay him a severance package. "Security's gonna rough you up a bit on the way out," Arthur says. Bravo, Arthur. Bravo.

In the car, Marshall is frozen in fear. Robin's ice cream is melting, which Ted points out, and he gets shushed. Barney changes the Chain of Screaming to the Pyramid of Screaming. Marshall frets that they're going to lose the apartment. He says he threw away their future. He fails to mention that it was Lily's debt that got them in this mess in the first place. Lily knocks on the window and scares everyone. Food and a cigar fly everywhere. Ted gets mad and tells everyone to get out. Barney throws in, "Ted, screaming never solved anything!"

Later on, Lily and Marshall are in the back seat of the car having a heart-to-heart. You don't need to be a comedy writer to know they're totally gonna do it later in this location. Marshall offers to go and beg for his job back. Lily won't let him. She doesn't want him miserable at his job. She just wants her husband back. They love each other.

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How I Met Your Mother




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