"Gimme a Break," says Barney.
Ted explains that Barney figured out he could fake conversation just by responding with titles of Black sitcoms from the '70s and '80s. Barney cocks his head. "What's Happening?" Robin smiles as Lily invites Barney upstairs to do stuff to her she won't even let Marshall do. Barney laughs and holds out his hands as if he's weighing his options. "Diff'rent Strokes." Hee. You know, as long as I don't mention The Cosby Show, I could totally use this on my kids. They wouldn't know. Theirs is A Different World.
Mad TV's Will Sasso is wearing a bad toupee and a worse attitude as he approaches our gang at the semi-round. "What the hell is this?" Saget!Ted explains that Doug Martin (Sasso) is a bartender at MacLaren's, as we're treated to a series of flashbacks into which the show has cleverly inserted this Doug. During an early "Have you met Ted?" Doug is there. When Barney gets the pencil up his nose, Doug is there. When Barney dresses in drag to pick up a lesbian, Doug is there. Doug is always there, and always in his wig so hideous, I hesitate to call it a Shemp, for fear of offending Shemp. Do you think they put poor Sasso in that toupee, just to make sure we appreciate Marshall looking like Marshall, again? We already do, Show. You didn't have to go to all that trouble. In fact, you're making me feel like you're threatening to bring back the bad hair. I don't respond well to threats.
Saget!Ted explains the three things we need to know about Doug. We learn Doug has a violent streak, as he describes a brutal beating to Barney and Ted. We learn he's weird about his hair (as well he should be) as he confronts the gang for looking at it (how could they not), admits it's a toupee, and dares them to grab it right off his head. We also learn though, that Doug is quite loyal to his regular customers. We see him chase a priest and a nun out of the gang's usual booth. "Okay you two lovebirds, let's take this somewhere else. This booth's reserved." Heh. So, that's Ted's long way of explaining that Doug's earlier "What the hell is this?" was a sign of his concern that the gang was sitting in the semi-round, rather than at their usual table. Leave them be, Doug. It'll be easier for the cameras to get shots of everyone's face's, and nobody will have to pull up a chair.