How I Met Your Mother

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Cindy McLennan: A | Grade It Now!
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Fight Club

Okay writers, I love this episode, but please get rid of "under the bus." I mean it. Note I didn't do that cutesie -- throw 'under the bus' under the bus thing, either. Just stop it. It's dead. It's over. Banish it from your tongues, pens and keyboards. I know you brought awesome back, and I applaud you for that, but I'd like to encourage you to keep creating new terms of speech, rather than resurrecting old ones, or helping current ones remain in past their expiration date. Please. I'm begging you. Let me put it in language you might better understand...

"Under the bus" has jumped the shark. It's time to think outside the box, don't you think? Irregardless of your love for the phrase, you must realize that from your seat at ground zero of our popular culture. You have a responsibility -- if not to us -- your Joe and Jo Sixpack audience, then to the children. These trite clichés are a Sasquatchian-sized carbon footprint on the turf that is our common tongue. I could care less if you have my back on most issues, but hearing and reading "under the bus" and the like makes me want to go nu-cu-lerrr. This concludes my talking points. Thank you for your consideration.

Back to the story -- angry, irrational, violent Doug is just getting word on the phone that he's been... left to hang by his favored patrons. Out in the alley, Barney asks to explain. Dough says, "Explain what? Explain how you stabbed me in the back, right to my face?" Oh, Dough. Oh, no.

Robin, poor pathetic Robin, is now turned on by Dough. In an aside to Lily, she says, "Is Doug seeing anyone?" Lily speaks for all of us. "Are you seeing anyone. You really should."

I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection.

Ted tells Dough he beat up the booth squatters without help from him and Barney. After Barney flees in terror, while trying to frame Ted, Marshall points out how wimpy Ted is. Dough begins to realize he did it all alone. He admits he blacks out a lot. "Anyways, I always got your back. All I ask in return is that you got mine. But you know what? You don't. Can't be counted on." And here it comes. Wait for it. "No wonder your fiancée left you." Okay, so there are five things we need to know about Doug. He has a violent streak. He's weird about his hair. He is loyal to his regular customers. He's batshit insane. And? Regardless of how tough he is, he's not above hitting below the belt.

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How I Met Your Mother

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