How I Met Your Mother

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Bros Before Shows

Barney is at his desk shredding documents and speaking Korean into his iPhone. When he's done with the conversation, he tosses the iPhone into the shredder. Marshall walks in, holding the Bro Code book. He says Barney did too good a job: it's iron-clad. "No! Bad lawyer!" Barney snaps. Barney needs a loophole. He feels terrible and keeps buying things. "I have six self-cleaning litter boxes and I don't even have a kid!" he says. Barney asks if Ted might have broken the Bro Code at some point. Marshall says he thought of that, but that Ted has upheld the Code time and time again. He reads Article 87: "A Bro shall at all time say, 'Yes.' " Side-whoosh to MacLaren's, where a girl Barney is hitting on is trying to confirm his story with Ted. She asks if Barney saved him from an avalanche. "Yes," Ted answers. And carried him six miles on a broken leg? "Yes," Ted says. Also, Ted is a pre-op transsexual nightclub singer who used to be a member the Russian mob? "Da," he answers. I'm surprised he didn't have to sing a song. Marshall reads Article 29, which states that a Bro must alert his Bro, in a timely matter, when a girl fight happens. Cut to Ted on his phone, calling Barney as a fight breaks out at MacLaren's. Ted tells Barney, who is in his office, what's happening. Barney utters the most hilarious, high-pitched "Whaaaaaat!?" and jumps out of his seat. We see Barney running down the street flailing his arms. He's at MacLaren's in seconds, before Ted has even hung up the phone. They watch the fight. Awesome. Marshall reads Article 53: A Bro will provide, whenever possible, his Bro with protection. We see Barney giving a girl a massage by an open window. One of those grabber sticks from the supermarket enters behind the girl's back holding a three-pack of condoms. Barney puts them in his suit pocket. The girl wishes they had wine. Barney says he wishes so, too. The grabby stick reappears, moving its claw. Barney gives it some money. Barney, frustrated, yells at Marshall to find the answer in the Bro Code. Marshall says it's not about the Code. He says Barney feels bad because he did something wrong and he'll need to tell Ted. Barney worries that Ted will never speak to him again. Marshall thinks that's a chance he'll have to take.

"Which brings us to April 25, 2008, my 30th birthday," SagetTed says. He says it would later be referred to as "The Day of the Goat." We cut to Lily on the rooftop, wearing a party hat. She's among partygoers. She tells someone on the phone, "Hey, where are you?" Barney is in his limo, outside Ted's office. Lily tells him that Stella is already there and there's something so awesome, she won't even tell him what it is. "Goat in a party hat?" Barney asks. "Dammit!" Lily says. The goat has a party hat. It's funny. Lily says that he still has to come see it. The camera zooms in on the goat as SagetTed says, "In a few short hours, Lily would come to regret those words." Cut to the goat in the bathroom, bleating. "But... we'll get there," SagetTed says. Argh! Not cool! Barney hangs up the phone. Ted gets into the limo with Barney. Lily, back at the party, asks the goat if she's excited. Quick close-up of the goat as horror music plays.

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How I Met Your Mother

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