How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: D- | 1 USERS: B-
"I'm Sorry for Wasting Your Time"

Marshall says Lily's right about all of this -- you can't be friends with single people of the opposite sex if you're married (which is, I'll point out, the most idiotic thing I have ever heard), but Robin says there's an exception for old friends, which is why she can hang with Marshall. Lily points out they don't ever hang out alone (except, you know, in "Little Minnesota"). They decide to have dinner together, which Lily thinks is "Awww, sweet. NO CANDLES." Barney asks Lily to hang, and Saget!Ted interjects to tell us that Lily's answer insulted every fiber of Barney's being. Lily says, "Nah." Barney gasps, horrified, so Saget!Ted interjects again: "Wait. It had to be more than just 'Nah.' I think she said..." Lily says, "You're a big, stupid octopus head!" Barney gasps some more. Saget!Ted tells his kids this doesn't make sense, then tries to remember as the kids and the gang (minus Zoey) wait for him to remember. He says it was twenty years ago, but he'll remember at some point. He'll get back to that. Unfortunately.

MacLaren's the next night. Ted comes in and tells Lily she was right about Zoey; something weird happened. Cut to the retrospective, where Zoey gets a call and says it's the Captain (she says yes, she calls him that, but it's the only concession she makes to his seafaring ways, then answers her call, "Ahoy!"). She answers and tells him she's out with "friends," then Ted asks why she said that. She says she just didn't want the Captain to worry and asks if that's okay. Ted says it is, but the gang (minus Zoey) says it is so not. Barney tells Lily to shut it, because she lies to her spouse all the time: "That shirt looks great on you." "I love your mom." "I never fantasize about Barney when we're doing it." Marshall asks Lily, sad, "What's wrong with this shirt?" Ted wonders if he has to stop hanging out with Zoey, but Lily says he's okay if he just hangs out with them together. Ted says he does have a standing invitation to go out on the boat, so Lily says once he makes nice with Captain Crazy, problem's solved.

And yet the next night, Marshall and Robin are at dinner together. Alone. No candles, though the place does look nice and very TV-date-like. They talk about three things: cold weather, sports and cold-weather sports. They're done in 16 seconds, and both start thinking about how awkward this is and then their eyes start twitching, for no reason. It doesn't have to make sense, y'all; it's a comedy! Or something. They order lots of drinks.

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How I Met Your Mother




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