How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 2852 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad

Do I tell it here? Why not. When I was first out of college, I was out at a local watering hole with a bunch of my friends. My best friend and I met these two guys who were very pleasant. It turns out they were part of a bachelor party, and declined to follow the rest of their party to its next destination, and hung out with us. It also turns out they had no transportation home. My best friend was going through a horrible break up, and really liked the one guy, so I stupidly agreed to drive them home. This was wrong, stupid, bad, dangerous, and kids, do not try this at home. If I could go back in time, I'd totally kick my 22-year-old ass (and my friend's), because we were reckless and idiotic. The guys were roomies, and when we got them home, they asked us in for drinks. We hung out in their kitchen for a while. Then I had to go to the bathroom, so the one guy showed me where it was. When I came out, he was lying on the couch, naked as a jaybird. I never laughed so hard in my life. But it wasn't the delightful laugh of the charmed and disarmed; it was the panic-stricken laughter of, "Get me out of here. Why did I drive this jackhole home? My mother would kill me right now and she totally should. Karen! Karen!!!" We left pretty much immediately and Karen's guy never called her, while Naked Guy (at whom I pointed while I laughed, but only out of panic) called me a half dozen times before I got up the nerve to be a grown-up and just say, "Thanks, but I don't want to go out with you." ...Anywhere. Anytime. At all. Ever. Because you are a scary freak. "But thanks." ...For living far away and not knowing where I live, and for finally getting the hint before I had to tell my parents. And, oh crap, my mother's going to read this, isn't she. I didn't think about that. I thought about my husband, so I made sure he knew the story, but um... hi, Mum. Poetic license. Yeah, that's it. Poetic license. Nothing to see here. Move along.

At MacLaren's, Barney is nearly reverent as he celebrates the success of "The Naked Man," extolling it as a "total game changer." Lily reminds him that Naked Man slept with Robin and wonders how he could be excited about this, since he claims to love her. Barney says, "Lily, [this] is bigger than me and Robin. All these years, I have been busting my hump with my secret identities and my tricks and my gadgets. I mean, I'm like Batman. But this Mitch fellow? He's Superman. He just rips off his clothes and he's good to go." Quietly and far too intrigued, Lily asks, "What kind of... gadgets are we talking about?" He gives her a disgusted look (which, nice work eliciting that from Barney, Lil) as they return to the booth, where Ted is ragging on Robin because the Naked Man worked on her.

How I Met Your Mother

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