Marshall thought he left on good terms with his boss, but the GNB honcho has been badmouthing him all over town. The slander he's spreading includes, but is not limited to Marshall's slacker attitude and his love for clubbing seals with even cuter seals. So while Barney's planning Van Halen-esque ways to demolish Zoey's beloved Arcadian hotel, Marshall joins her in her fight as her legal team.
Barney gets all miffed at Marshall's backstabbing, so he starts an all-out war with Marshall, by doing vile things to Marshall's personal property and showing him the photographs, and Marshall retaliates by sabotaging prospective dates. To give Lily and Robin something to do, the girls spend their time defending their beloved booth at the bar from a girl with a glare. It's very immature and obnoxious, until Barney and Marshall's fight turns physical, a table gets turned, and the entire gang gets ejected from the bar, and the girl with the glare starts smirking in delight at sitting in those gross vinyl seats. And then because Lily and Robin have to be girls, they give them a moment of sadness about Oprah's imminent departure (I mean, really, Robin?)
Finally, the girls come up with a plan to get the guys to make up. It involves copious amounts of alcohol. Not bad as plans go, but no martinis are allowed as they make Lily turn a little lesbian. In fact, various drinks trigger certain personality traits in all he friends. My favorite being that peppermint schnapps turn Barney into Richard Dawson, kissing strangers on the mouth and pointing towards an invisible Family Feud board. The girls, who have no lives of their own, finally figure out how to use the alcohol to their advantage. Except that the boys sneak tequila shots and head back to the off-limits MacLarens, where bartender Carl (who un-bans them) knows that the cure-all is good old-fashioned beer. Unfortunately, the girls screw it up with bonus champagne. Realizing their mixologist meddling has amounted to squat, they give up and just drink absinthe to float away from their troubles. Of course the end tag has them reclaiming their beloved booth, by using some of Barney's dirty tricks, and copious amounts of cleaning products.
Zoey and Ted take a romantic trip away, which is supposed to be Arcadian-talk free, but two minutes in Ted is screaming about how she turned his best friend on him. Zoey insists it is a beautiful hotel that deserves saving. To prove that it is a shithole, Ted takes them there instead. If she can last until sunrise, he'll help her save the building. She finally reveals that her family used to live in this hotel (like Eloise, but poor) and that's why she's attached to the building. But the cock-a-mouse (part cockroach/part mouse) has moved from their apartment and has settled in at the Arcadian and had babies. It's enough to get her out of the room, but Ted still sides with her anyway because he hates money and loves the cock-a-mouse.
While I hated how dumb and annoying the girls were in this episode, there were some bizarre hints about Robin's childhood and how her dad, mom and his mistress used to spend awkward Sunday dinners together. Yeah, I would have been far more interested in that story. Because Brandy? She sounds like a fine girl… who happens to like threesomes.
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