MacLaren's; Night Five: Barney's at the bar. At the booth, Marshall asks Ted how Barney's doing; a big merger fell through at GNB and Barney's being blamed for it. Marshall thinks he's going to get fired. Over at the bar, though, Barney looks so unconcerned that he doesn't even blink when we go to commercial! After the break, Marshall says they're having a meeting on Friday to determine whether or not he keeps his job. Lily wants to go talk to him, but the guys don't want her to ruin his p*rf*ct w**k. Ted says he'll go. "He needs a bro." When he approaches Barney, Barney admits he is in need of some help. "Which one of these girls looks the dumbest?" Ted leans back. "Let's check the scouting report." He nods his head toward the wall to our right. "What about the heater?" (A woman warms her hands over MacLaren's radiator.) Barney shakes him off. Next, he nods towards the window. "How about high and outside?" (A pretty woman in dreads is barely visible through the window and the cloud of smoke that surrounds her. She exhales as she laughs.) Barney shakes him off, again. Ted: "All right, I'd go with the slider." Cut to a woman eating bar cheeseburgers. Barney smiles and nods. "Thanks, Skip." When he starts toward the woman, Ted swats him encouragingly on the ass, and strolls back to the booth. This sight gag is one of my two favorite moments in this episode. For the whole scene, Barney and Ted ape the posture of pitcher and coach or pitcher and catcher in conference on the mound.

Back at the dugout booth, Lily asks what Barney said. Ted says, "Oh, yeah. He's gonna take a swat at the Hamburglar over there." Lily scolds Ted for not talking to Barney about his work situation. Ted doesn't think dwelling is going to help Barney. Lily asks how ignoring it is going to help. Ted makes a crack about her ignoring dental hygiene. Lily says, "Cook Pu." At that, Robin dissolves into giggles. Ted asks if Dale has phoned yet. Robin whines. Finally, Marshall calls their attention to Barney. He's leaving the bar with Number 5.

Fantasy Nantz Interview: Nantz interrupts Barney's story to ask: "Have you ever used performance-enhancing drugs?" Barney's gets deadly serious (although NPH has a hard time following suit): "No, sir." Then Barney takes us back to a time when said drugs were offered. We flash back to...

DOWISETREPLA: Lily stands in the background, smiling, folding laundry, and humming contentedly. Barney's on the couch. Marshall's in the chair -- with a pillow on his lap. He says "It was awesome." He offers Barney some. Lily smiles, folds and hums. Barney turns Marshall down. Marshall tells him to suit himself. Lily continues smiling, folding and humming. Marshall asks Barney for the time. Lily: smile fold hum. Barney checks the time on his phone. "It's... uh... 8 o'clock." Lily's the same as she ever was. Marshall uses his fingers to count to four. He rises, keeping the pillow in front of him the whole time. "I need to go to the hospital." Lily's still humming when we cut back to the...