How I Met Your Mother

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The Platinum Rule

...A title card reads, "Perks." Robin is gushing about Curt. She has a standing lunch date, she can split a cab to work, and Curt got her into a hockey locker room to meet Mason Raymond. Blank stares. He plays for the Vancouver Canucks. "What's the opposite of name dropping?" Barney asks. Robin thinks things are going well. Lily reminiscences about the neighbors and we go back a year. She's gushing about how great it is to have neighbors who are friends. They can go out together all the time at a moment's notice. Marshall does a Charades re-enactment of going across the hall to greet the neighbors. Lily thinks they have a great thing going. "That's what I thought," Barney says. Flash back a year. Wendy has brought her sweetie Barney some free nachos. She kisses him. He's a little freaked out. Wendy is acting really moony. Everyone else is mad at Barney for potentially killing the bar. Barney insists he's not killing the bar. He thinks Wendy is on the same wavelength about his shenanigans. She's staring at him. Obviously she's not. A bunch of side-whooshes back to the present of everyone trying to kid themselves that their situation is "Fine." Barney brings us back to...

A title card reads, "The tipping point." Robin and Curt are on the air (since when did he become co-anchor?). During a break, she asks if he wants to do something later. He throws a hissyfit about how she was supposed to call the night before and he waited up. No call. Robin apologizes, saying she forgot. Hockey veterans are sensitive. He's celebrating their "First Weekiversary." He hugs Robin. Yikes!

Rewind two years. Barney is scoping out a hot blonde at the bar. He asks Wendy to send a glass of champagne to the woman. Wendy is like, "Do WHAT!?" Barney plays it off that he meant to buy Wendy a drink. Wendy falls for that. She kisses an unhappy Barney.

Fast-forward a year. Lily and Marshall are on their way out, but the neighbors stop them with fixings for a Mexican fiesta. Lily and Marshall have tickets to something, but they stay in, reluctantly. Playing Charades in Hell. They watch unhappily as the neighbors act out something. Three-way split screen of the two of them, Barney and Robin all saying, "Oh no..."

Barney is about to introduce Step 6, but Ted is already on his way out. He offers to read it tomorrow if Barney will write it down for him. Barney slides all the way to the door to block Ted's way. "Don't do this, Ted!" he wails. Barney grabs Ted in a headlock and messes up his hair. Not that there's any difference whatsoever. "Gah! It was perfect! You're a jerk!" Ted whines. He goes back to the mirror. Barney goes back to introducing Step 6. As he does so, Marshall hands him a tissue and Barney wipes off the gunk from Ted's head off his hand. Hee. Barney says that Step 6 is "Purg-... wait for it..." He says you keep waiting for all eternity because there's no escape from...

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How I Met Your Mother

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