Fresh off the BroTP breakup, Robin swears off relationships, vowing to throw herself into her career, so Marshall and Ted tease her that that means she's going to meet her husband. Meanwhile, Barney vows to throw himself into every woman in New York. No. Not at, okay? He warns: "Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCAs," i.e. Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With And Never Call Again. Daddy's home, indeed. He breaks out his (leather bound) playbook, which contains every scam he's ever used or hoped to. But when Barney uses the "Lorenzo Von Matterhorn" (details in the weecap) on a woman Lily's been saving for Ted, Lily exacts her revenge by getting an actress-friend to play one of Barney's marks. When he gets the actress back to his place and goes into his room to set up the camera (eww), she steals his playbook and takes off -- handing it off to Lily, who confronts Barney. Lily promises not to publish the playbook on the Internet, provided Barney agrees to no more scams, cons, hoodwinks, gambits, stratagems, or bamboozles (or flimflams). Between that list and MILSWANCAs, you all have no idea how close you came to getting this recaplet in anapestic tetrameter, a la Dr. Seuss. Thank your lucky stars for the recaplet's short deadline and my relative lack of ability, compounded by my intellectual laziness.
Although Barney seems to agree to Lily's terms, he's soon off to play The SCUBA Diver (SCUBA-suited up). The only problem is: that play's not in the book. What follows is a deliciously complicated plot that's not a surprise, but delights just the same. Barney used everyone, without their knowledge or consent, to pull off his final play.
I'll catch you on the flipside with the full weecap, end tag, links to all the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn sites, discussion of Robin's hurty-bits, and all Barney's best plays. In the meantime, don't drink that! I saw some guy slip something in it. Instead, come on over to the forums. We only have beer, and TWoP Barnes uncaps it right in front of you.
Look for the SCUBA Diver, the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn and MILSWANCA to eventually make their way into the HIMYM Dictionary! Sorry, we can't keep up with this show's crazy new slang.
Last week, Barney and Robin decided that while they love one another, they can't be together. This week, Barney intends to out-Barney himself as he jumps back into the dating scene, and to do so, he breaks out his leather bound playbook. The episode is so full of jumps, twists and turns that I'm not quite sure how to approach it, so climb aboard as I wing it.
MacLaren's: Claire (Sarah Wright; Jane, 7th Heaven), a pretty, young, blonde woman sits at the bar as Saget!Ted narrates that when you're dating, it's important to be confident, comfortable in your skin, and assured of who you are. In 2030, he informs his (unseen) kids that Barney had that last part down pat, even when he wasn't being himself. We pan to Barney, seated at the semi-round booth in the corner. He's in full SCUBA gear. Lily approaches Claire, and tells her that the SCUBA suit guy is the biggest jerk on the face of the earth and not to talk to him. Claire smiles. "How do you know him?" Lily says, "Oh, he's one of my best friends." Heh. Claire wants to know what's up with the SCUBA suit. Lily tells her it's a long story -- he just went through a break-up, etc. Keep in mind, this is to set up the introduction to the funniest plays in Barney's playbook.
As we flashback to Robin, Saget!Ted says that after a breakup, some people throw themselves into... Robin finishes the line: "...my career." She's sworn off dating for the foreseeable future. Saget!Ted then narrates, "While some people throw themselves into..." We flash to Barney. "...every woman in New York City." Thanks for the prepositional gross-out, Show. Barney's back on the market. "Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCAs." Ted cracks Barney's code: "Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With And Never Call Again." Daddy's home, indeed. Robin is not present for this scene, by the way. It's just Ted, Lily, Marshall and Barney. When Lily cautions Barney about jumping back into things too soon, he makes phallic references to what turns out to be his playbook.