Ted's apartment: Robin tells Marshall, Lily and Ted that she's off to get the newspaper. The guys are playing a video game, but they're not too preoccupied to tease her that she's just as likely to get a husband. She tells them to knock it off. Ted says, "When you pick up that newspaper, be sure to check the wedding announcements..." His voice rises. "For yours!" Marshall goes into this long, complicated explanation about how every time he goes to the freezer looking for frozen waffles, there are none, but every time he goes to the freezer for something else (like the TV remote control that Lily hid there during an argument) he finds frozen waffles. "That's how it works. You go out there looking for a paper -- you're coming back with frozen waffles, and in this case, frozen waffles is a guy." A beat. "Also, could you pick up some frozen waffles? In that case, frozen waffles are frozen waffles." Just as Robin's about to exit, Barney bursts in announcing a code red. He pulled off the He's Not Coming, and it worked. As he gets into the lurid details, Robin announces she's leaving. After she's gone, Barney continues -- he left the girl to go set up his video camera (he looks at Lily and edits this to 'light some candles'), but when he was done, she was gone, and so was the playbook. There's clearly only one party to blame. Al-Qaeda. Lily agrees there's one party to blame, but she's that party. Barney says, "You sonofabitch." Commercial.
MacLaren's: Barney sits at the semi-round in his SCUBA gear, as Lily, Marshall, Ted, Claire and Robin sit at the regular booth, and Lily shows off the playbook. She had an actress-friend play the vulnerable mark, steal the playbook, and hand it off. We flashback to Ted's as Barney learns the truth. "An actress. Of course! That explains her impeccable diction and sluttiness." Lily's tempted to post the playbook on the Internet. Barney says, "You wouldn't." Lily says she won't, provided he agrees to no more scams, cons, hustles, hoodwinks, gambits, stratagems and bamboozles. And no more skank tramps, with their whatzits and whoozles. Barney looks hopeful as he does the math. "I notice you left out flimflams?" Lily waves her index finger in his face as she yells, "No more flimflams!" She does not like them, Stinson man.
MacLaren's: Robin apologizes for interrupting, but she has to show the gang (and Claire) the next play.
The Ted Mosby: (not to be confused with The Mosby) Barney, wearing a flannel shirt over a T-shirt, holds up a diamond ring to his latest mark and tells her he got left at the altar. The girl grabs his hands with one hand and rubs his arm with the other. Twink.