End tag: Ted has a poem for Barney who doesn't want to hear it, but he's going to, and so are you. Use your imagination for the images that accompany the telling:

'Twas the night before this one
I had hours to kill.
I sat in the tavern,
Grading parchments with quill.

Barney says, "With quill?" Ted replies, "Barney. It's a poem."

A busty, young lassie
Flashed me a grin.
Her garb said classy,
But her eyes whispered sin.
She said, "You're a teacher?"
I said, "Yes, indeed."
"I must have you," she moaned.
"I'm turned on by tweed."

With haste we did scamper
To my chamber anon.
We fell to the couch,
And, bro, it was on.
I unlaced her bodice.
Our passions grew deeper.
And thus ends the tale
Of the Sexless Innkeeper.

Barney says, "No way; you made that up." Just then, a beautiful blonde wearing only one of Ted's shirts pops her head out of his bedroom. "Are you coming back to bed, professor?" When she goes back in the room, Ted pauses for Barney's benefit. "Whew. God, I love being single." Barney is beside himself when Robin comes out of her bedroom. "Barney -- you ready for brunch with Lily and Marshall?" Like a caged animal he looks from Ted's room to Robin, and whispers, "What have I done?"