How I Met Your Mother

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Cindy McLennan: B | Grade It Now!
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Get Back Home, Loretta

The gang's timing on their response is great. They all nod and speak at once. Robin says, "Oh... yeah," while Lily says, "It was a very good show," while Ted says, "Right... we... forgot," and Marshall loudly and clearly deadpans, "Bob Barker is your father."

Barney continues: "She had to raise my brother and me by herself. And her only wish was for her sons not to wind up alone, like she was. Then, about seven years ago, she got really sick." FLASHBACK to Loretta's hospital room. Barney narrates: "It looked like she wasn't going to make it. So, I decided to make her wish come true." We see Barney and "Betty" at Loretta's bedside. He introduces Betty to his dying mother and tells her they're engaged. FLASH FORWARD to Loretta's living room, where Barney confesses that he hired an actress -- her real name is Margaret -- to play the part of his fiancée Betty so his mom could pass in peace. He goes off on a tangent here about how Margaret mostly does off-Broadway, but she's really good and she coulda woulda shoulda gotten a Tony, but for the politics of it all, which is pretty adorable, not least of all because of NPH's own history treading the boards. There's just one problem with Margaret -- while playing Betty, she tends to go off-book. FLASHBACK to Loretta's hospital room, again. When Barney drives home the point to his mother that he's found someone just like she wanted, she's happy for him, she just wishes she could stick around for grandchildren. "Betty" blurts out, "I'm pregnant!" FLASH FORWARD to Loretta's living room and Barney recounts for his friends his mother's miraculous recovery. Of course he was thrilled by this turn of events, but it meant he had to keep Betty around, and cast a child as Tyler (once he could no longer borrow/babysit his neighbor's son). There's a FLASHBACK to Barney auditioning children and it seems he auditioned some of their mothers, too, because a blonde saunters over to him after he's dismissed auditioning juves, and says, "You said if I slept with you, my son would get the part." Barney doesn't care enough to even look her straight in the eye. "Well, apparently, I'm a better actor than your kid." Hooooo!

Back in Loretta's living room, Barney snarls about Grant, the child he cast to play Tyler. Ted thinks he seems pretty good, but when Grant returns to the living room with a bag of chips, Barney demonstrates that the kid doesn't even respond to his character's name, by calling it over and over again. Um, Barney, my often kids don't respond to their real names, unless I'm calling them to eat or buy something. I'm just saying. Barney says, "Call me crazy, but I think child actors were better back in the '80s." Heh! And we cut to the next scene.

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How I Met Your Mother

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