McLaren's. Lily and Marshall are late, because Marshall wanted to stop and help some guys load their moving van. Then the owners showed up, a little unhappy that Marshall just helped some people rob them. Robin tells Marshall he can't treat New York like it's the "small, friendly, crime-free, inbred, backwoods, podunk, cow-tipping Minnesota hickville" where he grew up. He protests that it's not crime-free. And nothing else. Ha. He points out a crime about a 1994 feedstore cashier being held up at hoe point. He also doesn't want to stop being nice, and Lily tells him not to change. But when Marshall leaves, Lily goes on and on about how she hates that he's like this. In fact, Marshall lent the thieves money and gave them their address to mail a check. Now she's worried they'll break in and tie her up, which she only likes when they're pretending. But she can't say something to him, because he's from Minnesota, where his high school mascot was a hug.
Ted joins the gang, who inquire about his date with Royce. He says it was interesting, because they saw The Wedding Bride, which Marshall's apparently really excited about. Robin asks what it's about, and Ted says it's interesting. Swipe to a clip of Chris Kattan acting like a jerky architect named Jed Mosely. Ted looks at Royce to see if she notices it's him, but she doesn't seem to. Jed dumps hot coffee on himself and the audience dies laughing. Ted tells the gang -- but hopefully he's not telling us, because it was pretty clear -- it's about him. Marshall wonders if Ted's sure, since he sort of thought Spaceballs was about him. Ted says Tony wrote it, and it's the whole story of his breakup with Stella. Robin and Lily wonder why the bad guy would write a movie about their story, but Ted says that's not exactly how Tony wrote it. Cut back to the movie, where Chris Kattan calls his fiancee a "ball and chain" and says he can't wait to force her out of her beautiful house and into his apartment above a bar. She walks in, played by Malin Akerman, and he's a jerk to her about their wedding, then crosses his legs on the desk. And he's wearing ugly red cowboy boots. Man, Tony did his homework. He falls out of the chair, and the audience laughs hysterically. Then Malin sighs and the audience moans for her. Marshall makes fun of chair-falling as humor then falls in his chair and admits it was pretty funny.