The fashion show afterparty. Thumping gay club music is playing (haaaay!) as people are mingling. Marshall, Ted, and Barney show up at the entrance, suitably awed. Barney is audibly suited. Barney tells his gents that this isn't a regular season game, it's the World Series. He says they're a team and they work together. But if anyone sees Heidi Klum, Barney's got dibs. I think Seal has dibs. They spot two supermodels I don't recognize. One of them looks like Jessica Simpson, and not in a bad way. She asks if the guys work for the company. "Yeah. It's called I'm Gonna Get in Your Panties, Incorporated," Barney blurts out. Smooth? No. Rich? Yes. "Gross!" the other model says in a way that is actually gross in and of itself. They walk away. "Duuuuude!" Ted yells. Barney can't explain what happened, but regains his composure to hit on another set of models. Is one of them Adriana Lima? I can't even tell anymore. Barney tries to do, "This party is legend-- wait for it!" He can't finish the thought. One of the models thinks he's having a stroke. Instead of calling for an ambulance, they walk away. Barney almost collapses. "What is the matter with me?" he asks. Barney wonders if he might have The Yips. You know you've really grown into the CBS fold when one of your obscure cultural references is to something only golfers have heard of. Ted sees another model coming down some stairs and pushes Barney toward her, saying that English is her second language and even if Barney screws up, she won't know. The model smiles at him and says hi. "Those are...very nice honkers!" Barney says. She doesn't know the term. She asks if Barney wants to go dance. "I'm talking about those things," Barney says, pointing at her breasts, "Ah-ooooga! Ah-oooooga!" Wow. I've only done that like twice in my whole life. The model walks away. Fiercely. Barney is totally freaked out. He slaps himself. "Heidi Klum!" he yells, having spotted her. Hey, it's totally Heidi Klum, wearing a gold dress. Barney introduces himself. Heidi shakes his hand as Barney spits in her face, "Goobity, goobity, goobity, goobity!" Oh, man, that's not even trying anymore. Barney slinks away in shame and buries his head on a nearby table. Heidi asks Ted if he's all right. Ted says he has The Yips. Heidi knows enough English and golf to know what that means. She says that's bad. She says in Germany, they call it (really long made-up German word that even the Closed Captioning doesn't bother to attempt). Barney says he's lost his confidence. Heidi comes over to comfort him saying he has to open up to someone. Barney half-heartedly tries to get Heidi to open up something dirty, but he can't even finish the thought. Ted explains about the virginity and the Wayne Brady. "That's a rough one," Heidi concurs. She repeats the bullshit German phrase and advises Barney to go out, find a girl, and earn her for real. She says that's the only way he'll find himself. Barney wants to kiss her. "I see little hamburgers!" she says suddenly, and goes after them. "Auf wiedersehen!" she says. Barney says in wonderment that he made out with Heidi Klum. Ted the Corrector tries to correct him, but Barney wants to hold on to the fantasy.
How I Met Your Mother
Episode Report CardOmar G: B- | 1467 USERS: C+
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How I Met Your Mother