Ted asks the ladies at the table who won the boyfriend fight. They say neither of them did, which is too bad because there was one thing they wanted to do, but didn't. Ted, hellacurious, asks what it was. They're embarrassed, but agree to both say it at the same time. Dramatic build-up as both ladies run a hand on each of Ted's thighs.
Cut to an excited Ted calling Barney on the phone from the bathroom. "It's a tricycle!" Ted says. Barney can't believe it. Marshall gets on the phone. He can't believe it. Lily says that all sorority girls are sluts. Speakerphone. Barney asks if Ted thinks he can actually win the built. Ted has to explain that the first of them to actually have a threesome would win a championship belt. Marshall thinks it's a metaphor. We cut to a flashback with Barney unveiling an actual championship belt to Ted. It looks very expensive. I would expect nothing less. Barney wasn't kidding around. He also bought himself a gold crown for sleeping with a girl from Days of Our Lives. We cut back to the apartment. Marshall asks why he wasn't told about the belt. He says he could have competed. Everyone laughs at Marshall. Marshall says he could compete if Lily died first. Good luck with that. Lily says she'd just come back and haunt his penis.
Barney has to ask Ted questions as part of the bylaws of the competition. All participants' combined age has to be less than 83. Check. Aggregate weight has to be under 400 pounds. Check. Barney asks if Ted is paying these women. He's not. Ted excuses himself.
Back in the bar, the ladies are up and getting ready to leave. Rachel says it's pretty late. Trudy says they can go listen to that Wilco CD Ted had talked about before. Do people have threesomes to Wilco CDs? Really? I always imagined it had to be to the sounds of Enigma or really dirty rap music. Ted says he has that CD upstairs in his apartment. He says "Upstairs!" several times in his excitement. Rachel asks where they're supposed to go, teasing him. Ted's not as cute when he's over-excited. The girls start walking as Ted desperately uses his phone to send a text message.
Upstairs, Marshall is painting a picture of Lily dying and some hot nurses trying to heal him with tricycle action. He's still in his boxers. Lily tells Marshall that tonight he's riding the unicycle. "Fine. I already did this morning," he mumbles. Hee. Robin calls Lily and needs her razor now. She says she's had so much coffee that the hair is going to just vibrate itself off her legs. She also says her legs look like a Turkish lesbian's, which is kind of unnecessary. We get it. Robin asks her waitress if $20 will buy her a razor from the pharmacy across the street. The waitress will do it for $50. Robin pays up.