How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
Third Wheel

Side-whoosh to Barney sitting on the floor with two hot ladies. He spills a glass of red wine and one of the women freaks out about her brand new carpet. They tell Barney to get out. Back to Ted's room... Ted can't believe that Barney is going to trike-block him. He says it's petty. Tom Petty, even! Ted goes out to the living room to grab Lily when she goes to take a peek. He tells the ladies he's still looking for the CD. Lily recognizes Rachel from her shoe-sale fight. She was the "bitch" who was on her "list." Lily decides she can't give up her bedroom. Ted offers to throw in some spanking. He also offers to reimburse Lily full retail price for the boots. She gladly accepts. Well, that was pointless. Ted goes back out after adjusting his hair some more.

Robin is on a whole other sitcom, something like Suddenly Susan that I'd never watch. She asks the waitress why there's no shaving cream in the bag from the pharmacy. The waitress says she didn't ask for any. The waitress tells her to shave her legs before she leaves the house next time. Sasquatch. Where's Robin's date this whole time? Robin goes to the bathroom, or tries to before her date says the valet has pulled the car around. He invites her to his place. Robin says she has to go to the bathroom. "I've got TB," she says, "tiny bladder." The doctor isn't very amused.

In the bathroom, Robin jams her boot up on the sink. There's no soap. She goes out and steals a little bowl of butter from a table. She goes back into the bathroom and slathers some on her leg. She slips and falls on her back. Hilarity! Can we go back to the show that I actually enjoy watching now?

Back on the other show... Ted emerges, saying he didn't find the CD. The ladies don't mind. As they get close, Ted's heart beats loudly. A hilarious image of the belt hovering over his head is superimposed on a close-up of Ted sweating. "It's getting late. I'll get your coats," he says. He retreats to the bedroom. This is just like Jerry Seinfeld not wanting to be an orgy guy because it involves buying lotions and growing an orgy moustache. In the bedroom, Lily can't believe what Ted is doing. He doesn't know what he's doing either. Marshall says Ted is ruining it for everyone. Barney sticks up for Ted. He reveals that what actually happened on his attempted threesome was that he spilled the wine on purpose. We flash back to it and Barney has the same heart pounding/sweating/belt moment. It's pretty funny. Barney tells Marshall that you get up in your head and that the logistics get to you. Barney tells Ted that he's got the best chance in the world; he doesn't want fear to take the belt and ride the tricycle. Barney says it's not his destiny to win the belt; it's his destiny to help Ted win the belt. He calls Ted their Neil Armstrong. "Space-suit up, Ted, because you're going to the moon." He proceeds to advise Ted.

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How I Met Your Mother




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