The first fantasy scene is Ted going out in purple silk pajamas. Which he doesn't own. But Barney has some at home. Ted asks the camera why he has a remote-controlled fireplace. Barney says, back in the bedroom, that this should be him.
Second fantasy: Ted and the women are dancing in the living room. They're exhausted. Ted asks the camera why he would want to tire them out. Barney explains that it's pretext for physical contact #1: a foot rub. Fantasy Ted says it's because he used to practice on his grandmother. Barney says it's endearing.
Fantasy the third: While giving the foot rub, Fantasy Ted acts bummed about a volcano documentary he once saw. The volcano would wipe out all life on Earth. Fantasy Ted says he lives by three simple words: "Don't. Postpone. Joy." The girls love it. "Mortality angle," Real-Time Ted says, "that's actually pretty good." Ted, Lily, Marshall, and Barney hug from all the teamwork. Ted tells Marshall he'll see him on the other side. Ted walks out to the living room. The girls are gone, predictably. Not-so-predictably: they're in the other bedroom, giggling and waiting. We see Ted, smiling, open the door. The girls are laughing hysterically. Ted has a look of wonder on his face as music starts to play.
MacLaren's. Barney asks if he did it. They didn't hear anything in the apartment? Ted says it doesn't seem right to talk about it. Barney keeps trying to figure out if Ted did it or not. Ted won't answer. Obviously he did. "Some stories you tell. Some stories you don't," Ted tells him. Barney holds up the belt. He still can't get an answer out of Ted.
So...SagetTed did tell this story to his kids? Or not? It would be creepy if he did. It would be like me telling the story of how one night, me and this girl had so much crazy sex that we had to air out the room the next morning. It would be nuts to mention that somewhere where my daughter might see it. Oh...shit.
Episode tag: Robin's restaurant. Her date asks the waitress to check on his date in the bathroom. The waitress sees Robin on the floor. She lies that nobody's there. She says the window in the bathroom is open. The surgeon isn't surprised. He says Robin was acting weird all night. The waitress offers to buy him a drink. She asks if he's really a surgeon. Robin emerges from the bathroom. Her head is bleeding. She falls again. Wonk, wonk, wonk.