At MacLaren's, Carl tries to kick out Ted and Barney so he can close. They tell him they're waiting for their dates, and ask if they can close for him. Carl says they can't, because they don't know the first thing about running a bar. When Barney says, "Serve the hotties first," Carl's impressed and relents, giving them the keys. They're ordered to shut off the lights and lock up as soon as their girls show up. In order to explain how much it meant to him and Barney to be left in charge, Saget!Ted narrates a flashback in which Ted and Barney have a beer-fueled conversation at Ted's place, and in which Ted declares, "We should buy a bar." Barney is all over that. And when they do, he wants to name it Puzzles. "People will be like, 'Why's it called Puzzles?' That's the puzzle." And I know they're drunk, because Ted agrees that it's a great name for a bar, and that when they have their bar, they will never have last call. Saget!Ted then compares, "We should buy a bar," with the other ill-advised, five-word sentences every man says in his life: "I can jump that far" (cut to Marshall, on a rooftop); "I'm gonna win her back" (Ted, of course); and "I can trust you guys" (Carl, tonight at MacLaren's... oops). Saget!Ted says they'd come to regret their "We should buy a bar," they just didn't know it yet.
Later at MacLaren's, Barney and Ted make like they're Tom Cruise (in Cocktail, not in couch jumping; don't be glib), in an otherwise empty MacLaren's, as the Beach Boys' "Kokomo" plays, because this is a musical montage, y'all -- or, as we like to say, "filler." But it's cute filler.
At the airport, Lily's just hanging up with the liquor store (or as we like to call it in Boston, "the packy"), confirming they have the beer she's looking for, when she runs into Ranjit. He's holding a sign that reads "Rachel Sondheimer," who happens to walk up as he's grilling Lily about her lack of both Marshall and six-pack. When he learns of Lily's plight, Ranjit ditches Rachel to take Lily from the airport to the "Brewniverse" in East Meadow, and then back -- in an hour.
At MacLaren's, Barney and Ted are getting sloppier in their bartender antics. Finally the girls show up. After Mary Winchester thanks God that the guys are still here, the brunette says, "I don't know if you guys have ever seen Star Wars, but it's like Hoth out there." Ted quickly calls dibs on her. Then poor little Mary Winchester says that it reminds her of going sledding with her dad, until he left (and we Supernatural fans recognize "left" as code for "got possessed by the Yellow-Eyed Demon and extracted a promise from her that would endanger the lives and souls of [her] future husband and sons"), so of course Barney calls dibs on her. Dear Dean, Please don't kill him. We lurve him. Brunette girl mentions she invited the rest of the band to meet up with them. Mary Winchester confesses that they're hoping to get drunk -- really drunk, like her dad used to. Barney leans into Ted's ear. "Dibsity dibsity dibsity!" Hee. When Ted agrees to keep the bar open a little longer, he has no idea that the band is the entire Arizona Tech Fighting Hens Marching Band, and finds out only once the bar is full to overflowing with college kids.