Meanwhile, Marshall notices that Don too has twin beds. When the Aldrin-Eriksens tell Don they just got twin beds, his response is less than enthusiastic, so Lily probes his reasons. Don: "My ex-wife and I thought it would be a good idea, but we just started to drift apart." Marshall: "Yeah, but I bet you didn't have another bed just for sex!" Don: "No. But she did -- at her personal trainer's house." Don declares that if Robin decides to move in, he's getting a king-sized bed.
Ted's Apartment: Ted tells Barney that he hopes he's happy. Barney stands by what he did. "It was bold and romantic." Ted: "You soiled yourself from both ends of your body." Barney -- drinking straight from a bottle of what looks like Jack Daniels -- reminds Ted that he's done plenty of stupid stuff to impress Robin. Ted says he used to, but he no longer does, "Because I am over her, just like you are." Barney: "You are not over her. You want her back just as much as I do. You just won't let yourself go there." Ted says that's ridiculous, but then, he digs out his post-Robin-breakup-letter from his "For My Biographer" box.
"'Dear Ted, Robin is the perfect girl for you, but she doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. You need someone who wants to settle down, so until Robin's ready for that next step, she's not your girl.'" Barney looks up at Ted, whose voice grows more wistful. "'Still, I always remember stealing her the blue French horn, our first kiss, the look in her eye when she told me she loved me.'" A beat. "Damn it. Now I want her back." Barney hands him the bottle of Jack. Bitches saved none for me. Commercial.
Ted and Barney get trashed. Their conversation is full of gems such as, "I stole her a blue French horn," and "I just want to have sex with her at least one more time." Can you guess who said what? Although they argue over who Robin belongs to, Ted realizes she's not either of theirs. She belongs to Don -- or, you know, herself, but heaven forfend that's mentioned even once in the episode. Barney: "We have to get rid of that guy.... Figuratively. Or literally." The boys exchange glances and then Barney curls up in Ted's arms. "Oh my God, Ted, this is how it starts. This is how it starts. I'm scared, Ted." Ted: "Shhhh. Just two guys talkin'. It's just two guys talkin'."