Oh, Show... I don't know what to do with you anymore. I'm not even sure you're you anymore. Whatever. Here's the quick and dirty. Robin and Don are getting serious. Nobody shows us that -- they just tell us, when Robin's misinterpretation of an innocent question leads them to having the "should we live together" conversation. Ted's all for it, because he's tired of Robin leaving empty milk cartons in the fridge. Barney is dead-set against it because Robin isn't a human, she's an object -- an object belonging to him. When Don finds out that Robin was involved with both Ted and Barney, he's a little uncomfortable, so he invites the whole gang over for dinner -- so he can get to know them. Barney ends up viewing the evening as an eating competition and makes himself sick.
Later, at Ted's, Ted reminds Barney of the letter he wrote to himself when he broke up with Robin -- a letter that detailed all the reasons that justified said breakup. Barney is not swayed, he wants Robin back. This somehow leads to Ted and Barney getting really drunk together. And then Ted realizes he wants Robin back, too. They go back to Don's apartment and yell to her from the sidewalk. When Robin and Don hear them, Don invites them up, tucks them in, and lets them sleep it off, while he and Robin go to work. After they're done taping the show, Robin returns to Don's and kicks the boys out. She has decided she will move in with Don and she cannot continue to hang with Ted and Barney, at least right now.
Meanwhile, Lily and Marshall spend a weekend away and end up in twin beds. They start out hating it, but after 18 hours of solid sleep, they end up loving it, and get twin beds for Dowisetrepla. All's fine and dandy with their new arrangement, until Don points out that he and his ex got twin beds, and ended up divorced. Lily pushes Marshall to return to a one-bed marriage, but he misses his midnight snacks and the ability to scratch where it itches. In the end, they meet in the middle.
Saget!Ted sets it up. Robin and Don have only been dating a short while when completely contrived phrasing on Don's part makes Robin think he's asking her to move in. I respect you too much to transcribe it, but the misunderstood question then leads to the real one. Will Robin move in with Don? Why should we care or want him to? He was a pantless drunk who took no pride in his work, until one day Robin imagined him with a duck bill, rather than rabbit ears, and yet we're supposed to care. Right. Wake me up when season 6 premieres, okay?
MacLaren's: Lily is excited to hear Robin's answer, which makes exactly one of us. Barney though, is against cohabitation. "The guy's a loser with a dead-end job." Robin: "We have the same job, Barney." Barney: "And we couldn't be prouder of you, angel." In a nice bit of continuity, Ted's all for it, because he's tired of Robin leaving empty milk cartons in the fridge. Robin protests. "I have a system. I put the empty carton back in the fridge to remind us we need to buy milk." Yeah. Ted suggests full milk cartons as a reminder that they don't need milk... I--I...
I... I'm sorry you guys. I've been giving this weecapped show the full recap treatment as a labor of love and it no longer deserves it. I've got to change my ways. Now. So without further ado...
Barney says he needs to meet Don.
Later at MacLaren's, Barney tells Don a dirty story about a contortionist he was dating. Dating? Since when has he dated? Don thinks he's awesome, but feels badly for any girl with self-esteem so low she could ever date the Barnacle. Robin never told Don that she once dated Barney. So of course, Barney rejoins the group convo, just to mention that very fact.
When Don finds out that Robin was involved with Barney, he feels a little awkward. Once Lily spills the beans that Ted and Robin were also involved, Don is so uncomfortable he has to leave, but not before revealing he always thought Ted was gay. In flashbacks, we see Don and Robin on the couch. When Ted gets home, Robin tells him that his calligraphy teacher called to inform him his ink is in. Ted pumps his fist. Next, Ted interrupts Robin and Don while they're watching football, to make sure Project Runway is set to record -- but not before he comments on the Jets new "costumes." Finally, we see Ted apologizing to Don and Robin for the lack of crème brûlée. "My browning torch is broken." He swoops away like a magnificent poof. This is all well done. If these scenes weren't appearing in a "Whaddya mean Ted's straight" flashback, I'd never think twice of them, and yet it's totally believable that Don thinks Ted is gay. Before Don stomps out of MacLaren's, he tells his girl, "Robin, out of the four people you consider your best friends in New York, you slept with 50% of them." Some people in the forums think he's being too controlling, but I think he's just being honest. That is, we never hear him issues any sort of ultimatum. He just has problems accepting things, and he is honest about that. I do, however, think his timing sucks. If he were the good guy we're supposed to think he is, he would have waited until he had Robin at his place or hers.