Ted starts us out this week with a lecture he's giving in class that changed someone's life -- then he flashes back to weeks to Barney explaining his rules for getting the "yes" from a girl. And, folks, he always gets it. Soon enough, he wants Ted to come back to work at Goliath National Bank, on the building project that the company scrapped before Ted became a professor. Ted loves being a professor, though, so he's okay giving up that past dream. So Barney brings out all of his tactics for getting the yes: He ignores Ted, then he pays him a backhanded compliment, then he brags in the form of a complaint. Then he pretends they hired someone else, and gives Ted a gift. Finally, Ted quits and runs back to Barney, but he does get Barney to break a rule: Barney takes Ted to dinner before getting the yes. Marshall helps a little bit, as Barney's wingman, which is pretty much his only role in the episode.
Robin, meanwhile, is up late watching satellite, where she sees Don on the Chicago news. She pretends she was all cool and calm, but Lily asks where the poop is (she's basically accusing Robin of being a dog that pooped somewhere in the house). Robin admits she actually wasn't calm, and then she called Don and told him she's going to kill him and eat his face on a pizza. (I know, right? Ew.) Lily makes her delete the number, which she decidedly does not. And then she calls Don again, once again threatening death. After Lily smells the poop some more, and Marshall barely gets involved, Robin really does delete Don's number. Unfortunately, though, she has it memorized and calls him anyway. Until she eventually forgets it, getting the closure she so badly needed. I guess.
Saget!Ted tells his kids (and us) the "one simple goal" he had as a professor: Give a lecture that changes someone's life. Oh, just that? Not a big deal. He achieved that goal, he says, in 2010. Flash to the present, when Ted's giving an unfunny lecture about an "unfinished" masterpiece of a building. Professor Ted looks down at the toy airplane in his pocket, and classical music picks up. So Saget!Ted flashes us back a few more days, to MacLaren's, where Barney wants Ted to look at the three chicks at the bar: "one hot, one kinda hot, and one who I'm assuming is really funny." Ted's not interested, because he has a burger coming. Marshall wants to be the wingman, but Barney flashes back to last time he took him up on that offer: Barney introduced himself and then Marshall introduced himself -- as Barney's wingman. Anyway, Barney heads over to hit on the ladies.
This gives Robin an opportunity to fill the rest of the gang in on the random satellite channel that picked up Don's Chicago newscast last night. Flash to Robin watching "The 11 o'clock News With Don Frank." She tells the gang she was totally fine, and has moved on. Flash to calm Robin turning off the TV with a "Finished with that." The guys are so happy for Robin, but Lily's like, "Where's the poop, Robin?" (She had a dog as a kid who, whenever it made the face Robin's making, had pooped somewhere in the house.) Robin tries to pretend there is no poop, but finally admits she was not so okay with it, and instead screamed at the TV and drank like a sailor. Now, she says, she really is over him. The guys are happy for her, but Lily asks where the poop is again. She's right, of course, because we flash back to Robin, who tells Don's voicemail that she's going to fly to Chicago, kill him, put his face on a deep-dish pizza, and then eat it. And then maybe catch a Bears game.
Barney rejoins the gang, which Marshall thinks means he failed at picking up the women, but inspirational music plays as Barney says he'll get the yes: "Barney Stinson allllllllways gets the 'yes.' " To Lily's question about why he doesn't take a girl to dinner like a normal person, Barney says that dinner is too intimate, and requires a level of eye contact and intimacy that sex doesn't. Call him old-fashioned, but he has to have sex with a girl at least three times before considering going to dinner with her.
The next day, in class, Barney pays a visit to Ted, who assumes Barney's here because he's dating his hot student, Rachel. Ted wants to hear every detail. Barney calls Ted a "pent-up old perv," which ... obviously. But then he says he's here with a present: Ted's old architectural rendering of the Goliath National Bank headquarters he had designed. Ted reminds us how losing that dream job broke his heart, but Barney tells him it's back on: "We're gonna build your building." Opening titles, followed by Neil Patrick Harris asking us to "suit up!" in a breast cancer tie.