How I Met Your Mother

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Omar G: A- | 1695 USERS: B-
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We're back at the tattoo parlor. Ted finishes, "Legen...dary!" He brings up winning the break-up again. Amy says she just broke up with her boyfriend, Steve. She says he was annoying her by saying she was the one and that he wanted to marry her. "What a wuss!" Ted announces. It turns out Steve is the very burly tattoo artist. He doesn't look happy. And we have a butterfly tattoo.

Back at the apartment, a panicked Ted is trying to get the tattoo off with water. Marshall suggests he try club soda. Ted looks for some ointment for the pain that he didn't notice until just now. He finds some Spanish massage oil. He asks what happened last night. "Last night got weird," Marshall says quietly.

Enrique, er, Gael, is playing a song on guitar. Candles are lit. Robin looks at him lovingly. So does Lily. The camera pans to Marshall. He's got a huge grin on his face as he hugs a pillow. Ha! I love Marshall. He buries his mouth in the throw pillow cutely. We cut to Gael giving Marshall a massage. Marshall says he just got over being chunky in the ninth grade. Gael says that's beautiful. "I am beautiful," Marshall says. Cut to Gael giving Robin a piece of fruit as she keeps her eyes closed so she'll "experience" her food. Gael tries to do the same for Lily, but Marshall cuts in and eats the mango. He gives Gael a bashful look. Gael's not amused. I'm totally crushing on Marshall as he's crushing on Gael. If someone was crushing on me right now, we could be a Totally Heterosexual Man-Crush Foursome. A Gentleman's Quarterly, if you will.

Lily and Marshall apologize to Ted for something that felt really, really good. Ted scoffs. He rushes out. Lily can't believe he got a tramp-stamp. They all laugh.

In front of Robin's apartment door. Ted knocks, and Robin answers the door. Before she can say anything, Ted lays it out that he's not there to try to win her back. There'll be no confession of love or indie rock song as they kiss. He says it sucks she came back from Argentina with someone as awesome as Gael. He says they had a polite break-up with no irrational yelling. He decides to yell for a while and that she'll have to stand there and take it. She agrees. "I'm yelling!" he says. Robin says she liked Ted's beard. He yells that he liked it too, but it was hot. He continues yelling that maybe in the winter, he'll grow it back out. Now he's done. Robin apologizes for showing up with Gael. Ted complains that she got over Ted while he's struggled so much. Robin says she cried her first three days in Argentina and that she missed Ted so much. She says it was really lonely and that's why Gael happened. She says she was trying to survive the break-up. Ted says they'll still be friends but asks why Gael had to be so hot. He calls Gael an Adonis. He says the guy is the Cadillac (sponsor placement!) of rebound guys. Ted says that even Marshall has a crush on him. "The guy's perfect!" he says. Robin says he's not. Ted asks one way he's better than that guy. "You're bigger," Robin says simply. Ted doesn't get it at first, thinking it's about height. "Ted. You're bigger," Robin repeats. As Mr. Ford from Frisky Dingo would say, "Ah...talkin' about mah penis!" Quick cut to MacLaren's. "I win!" Ted announces as he, Marshall and Barney toast their beers and drink.

How I Met Your Mother

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