How I Met Your Mother

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Wait For It...

Season Three ahoy! The Year 2030. The kids on the couch (as opposed to being in the hall). SagetTed tells them that there's more than one story of how he met their mother. There is? Well, which one is this? He says they know the short version that involves their mother's yellow umbrella. Intriguing. We see an extended, large yellow umbrella spinning in some wind on a dark street. He says the longer version is how he became how he had to become before he could meet her. And that story, SagetTed says, begins... here: "...dary!" Barney says. It's the year 2007. Barney and Ted are suited-up at Lily and Marshall's second wedding. They're still outside on the veranda. "Legendary!" Barney repeats. He's stoked that Ted is single again. Barney says they're going to conquer New York. Barney says he's already got a girl picked out; she's got a larger right boob than left boob. He says he chooses to see the bra as half-full. Barney's smoking. Ted says that he and Robin just broke up two weeks ago and that he's not ready. Barney asks when will he be ready? Freeze!

SagetTed says it's a good question. We cut to pasta-sauce-stained Robin and Ted on the couch hugging as they were breaking up. SagetTed says that after their break-up, Robin went to Argentina and Ted did his usual break-up routine. We see him standing in the apartment bathroom, staring at the beard he's growing in the mirror. The beard itself isn't growing within the mirror. It's actually on his face. But, ah, the reflection... a-ha! A-ha! Ted is picking at his "Break-up beard." Barney pops in after barely knocking, ordering Ted to suit up. He says there's a Nassau County beauty pageant. They'll be judges and their votes are for sale! Yes! Let's go! Still staring at his beardness, Ted says, "I'm not ready."

Cut to: Ted is painting the apartment. Barney pops in the front door and invites Ted to a women's 10K. He says it'll be nothing but girls on an endorphin high who wanna lie down. "Not ready," Ted grunts.

MacLaren's. Ted, holding a beer from the bar, sits down with Lily, Marshall and Barney. Barney has the hook-up with some circus performers from Montreal. They are super-flexible. "We are gonna get Cirque du So-Laid!" he says. "Whaaaaat uuuuup?" he salutes, his hand raised for some wiggle-fingered dap. Ted interrupts to tell Barney that he's not ready, but just then Robin walks in. She's wearing a tight floral dress and her hair is curly. She's also lugging Enrique Iglesias behind her. He's wearing light pants, a froofy brown pullover, and some strategically placed stubble. Robin says she just got in last night. Just got in...to...Enrique's pants? She introduces him as "Gael." He puts an arm around her. "Hola," he says. The Sexy! Ted announces that he's ready as he takes a sip of beer.

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How I Met Your Mother

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