The apartment. Lily asks Marshall to sign a thank-you note she wrote. He's impressed she wrote on both sides to a third cousin who only gave them a blender they haven't opened. She says it's a nice blender. Marshall tells her to go ahead and marry it. She says she can't; she married Marshall and that's how she got the blender. Oh, marriage! This could totally be a "Lockhorns" comic. Marshall pretends nothing's wrong. Then he loses his cool and throws "Cancel Vogue" in her face. Lily's mad that he read the letter. Marshall tells her that next time she writes something that short, to at least make it rhyme. He storms out. Or tries to. She says it's their first fight since they got married. Marshall softens up and they hug. Then he storms out.
SagetTed says that the big city has tons of great stuff to do. But for some reason, the two New York girls took Barney and Ted to a place called Tater-Skinz. I bet they have the best potatoes! They tell the boys that this place is the best. Ted is sure this is the best of their 57 "Spud-tastic" East Coast locations. The girls go to the bathroom. Ted is really annoyed. Barney thinks this is so easy he's going to try a knock-knock joke. Ted thinks they're the lamest New Yorkers. They high-five anyway. The girls come back after no more than 30 seconds. Did they urinate while walking? They girls offer to take Ted and Barney to a party.
Robin's place. Everybody's watching soccer on her old TV. She tries to throw down some rules, but calls them guides for harmonious living. She says the sink is not for peeing. She says, randomly, "GFHL." Global Fantasy Hockey League? She is Canadian. Oh, right. "Guidelines For Harmonious Living." She says pot is illegal here, even when baked into a blueberry muffin that she ate before work. She tells a long story about talking about her weird hand on the air. This is...not so funny. Everybody in the living room cheers, but not for Robin. I agree with them. Robin goes to take a nap. Is this scene over yet?
Cab ride. Barney pretends to admire the city lights. Ted, annoyed, tries to tell the cabbie where to go. Barney tries to play it off. He says Ted's been watching too many "Steinfeld" reruns. Ha. "Steinfeld." Nice. My dad sometimes says "Strimp" instead of "Shrimp." But I love him! (Holding back a tear.) That's my dad! Barney tries to get Ted to relax when he balks at going to a party in South Bronx at night. Cut to...sirens.
They got mugged. Ted got all his money stolen. Barney was only carrying traveler's checks.