Barney's now on the conference call roof with the Svens. He's explaining the conference call cover to them, but they are not impressed. Sven 1 says, "This is a waste of time." Then commands his fellow Svens: "PUSH UPS!" They drop, as does Barney's face.
At Giddy Ups, the Woo Girls are having fun calling one another slut, skank, bitch, whore, and the like. What is up with that? I may have had a woo day or two (did you?), but my friends and I were never self-loathing misogynists (icky poo). Too serious? I'm sorry. I'll just be sitting over here with poor Lily, who tries to hard to fit in: "You're all a bunch of prostitutes. You probably have STDs." She waits for a woo that never comes. Robin cringes for her, then adjusts her hat. Jillian and the other Woo Girls are offended. Jillian says, "Let's go dance," and the others let out an overly subdued "Woooo." Robin tells her she shouldn't be there. Lily thinks it's because she's happily married, "and some kind of loser." Robin consoles her by telling her it's just the opposite. She points out the desperation behind the Woo Girls' wooos. "Why do you think the Woo Girls have to woo when they win a game of beer pong, or when a hot guy takes his shirt off?" Did they see Supernatural last week? Jared Padalecki's shoulders for the Woooo! "It's because that is as good as life gets for them. They're really sad people." She says that when they hang with someone like Lily, who has it all figured out, they get bummed out. If you're a Woo Girl, or an otherwise happily single person, this might be another key point at which to remind yourself that this story is told from I-Need-To-Get-Married-Yesterday-Ted's perspective.
Robin tells Lily to turn her attention to the Woo Girls and see what their woos are really saying. We pan to the dance floor. As the first Woo Girl dances and shouts, a caption appears that reads: "I cry in the shower!" The next Woo Girl woooos and her caption reads: "I've never been on a second date." Jillian dances into view, lets out a woooo and her caption reads: "What if I never get to be a mom?" The last girl wooos, and her caption reads: "I'm secretly in love with Jillian." I'll pause while the Barneys among you shout, "Woooo!" Finally, we see the biggest Woo Girl of all time -- Ted -- who dances into view, and when he wooos, his caption reads: "My career and love life are heading nowhere!" Lily feels so sorry for all of them. Robin says that right now, she's like them. "I'm unemployed. I'm single. I'm a little lost. So, every once in a while I need to wooo, but when I need to talk about something real, you're the one I turn to. You're my best friend." Lily says, "You're mine." I say "Wooo!" because I love it when the show concentrates on this friendship. They resolve to spend more best-friend time together, some without Marshall, who then appears. He claims the purple test-tube shooters he's been drinking seem like they don't have any alcohol in them, but he doesn't even realize he's wearing a giant, pink cowgirl hat covered in hearts, clubs, spades and diamonds, so be glad he no longer has the Fiero, and don't you believe him.













Comments