So, Marshall changes his mugging story, claiming he was too embarrassed to admit the truth at first. When Barney assumes the guy was wearing a black knit cap, Marshall says he wasn't wearing anything, and we fantasy flash to a naked John Dore mugging Marshall. Ted: "I'm not going to ask where he was keeping the gun." But no, the mugger wasn't a naked human, he was a naked monkey (and more of a pickpocket than a mugger if you ask me). Marshall stops at the Central Park Zoo on the way home from work. The zookeeper (also played by John Dore) warns Marshall not to get too close to the monkey's cage. Marshall shrugs off his advice and the monkey picks his inner suit coat pocket and grabs Marshall's wallet. Lily, Ted and Barney dissolve into laughter. Commercial.
After the break, the gang cracks wise about Marshall's monkey mugging. Ted: "It really is a jungle out there." Lily: "The monkey has our address. What if he's in a gang? I hope he doesn't do a swing-by." Ugh. There's then a suggestion that the monkey was doing something gross with the wallet (which is why Marshall didn't ask the zookeeper to get it back). Just then, Robin walks in, so they tell her there's new info on the mugging. Robin: "Did they catch the guy?" Ted: "Well, he's behind bars." Robin: "Where did they find him?" Lily: "I'm guessing naked in a tree, throwing his own feces." Robin: "Ahh. I've seen that guy. See, that's why I take cabs." Ted: "You know how they caught him, right?" Marshall (unenthusiastically): "There was a tail on him." Ted (giggling): "There was a TAIL on him." Finally, they let Robin in on the joke. Barney insists on telling the story, so now we're treated to a series of flashbacks set to ragtime, in which Marshall is either eating a banana, or following a banana on a string -- that the monkey is using as bait, or being held up by the monkey who is holding the banana like a gun. Marshall has had it. "THERE WAS NO BANANA!" Robin says she knows Marshall didn't get mugged by a monkey. Sheepishly, Marshall admits Barney got that part right. Robin cracks up, as does everyone else. Huh. I thought sitcoms were about making the audience laugh. Marshall points out that people get mugged by monkeys all the time in places like Thailand (now I want Thai food for lunch), China, and Costa Rica. "Monkeys are gatherers. Because of their intersocial dynamics, having a genetic pre-disposition toward stealing gives one a genetic advantage." Geek-Marshall is so cute. Lily probably thinks so, too -- but she can't stop laughing. "You were mugged by a monkey!" Ted: "Maybe he was just curious. Were you wearing a yellow hat?"