MacLaren's Flashback: Sarah and Lisa throw their drinks in Barney's face when he proposes a three-way, and then stomp off. Barney calls after Lisa, but when the brunette stops, he realizes he means Sarah. He apologizes for lying about being Neil Armstrong. Sarah admits that she was less than honest, too. She's not 28. She's 31. Barney looks nauseated. The accompanying horror-movie music drowns out whatever she's confessing here: "And if we're being completely honest, I went to the doctor the other day, and..." I should care more about that than I do. Back in the present, Barney whines about having bedded a 31 year old, rather than a 28 year old "with sun damage." He then stresses to his friends that people want the lie -- they need the lie. "You were mugged by a monkey, just as sure as I had that three-way." He rises to reveal he's wearing the Tricycle belt. "I am the greatest, in the world." Lily enters, realizes he's wearing the belt and gives him five. She mentions how great she's sleeping, now that she knows that Marshall got mugged by a monkey, and then heads up to the bar. Once she's gone, Marshall changes his tune, again, and says he was actually mugged by a monkey. Barney lets out a triumphant "Yes!" Ted doubts this story. He examines Marshall's face for signs of a lie again, but again is distracted by Marshall's cologne. "It's intoxicating."
Come On GET UP New York set: Ted's got his Empire State Building model in the wings, covered by a sheet, just in case Marshall punks out of his interview at the last moment. Marshall and Lily are already seated and ready for their segment, but Robin has a surprise. She's had the zookeeper bring in the monkey, Captain Bobo, so that Marshall can face his attacker. Because of the incident, Captain Bobo will be sent to a wildlife sanctuary. Lily is excited, imagining Bobo will like it there. The zookeeper says it won't be so happy. The move will separate him from his longterm mate, Milly. With her name sounding so much like Lily, Marshall can't help but over-identify with the beast. Lily is off camera when the interview begins. Robin asks Marshall how the whole thing went down, but Marshall tries to deflect attention to Ted's sheeted model. Robin cuts to commercial so she can ask Marshall what the hell he's doing. Marshall tells Robin and the zookeeper that he wasn't mugged by the monkey. But when Lily overhears, he swears by the monkey mugging story. He waffles between the two tales for a while, and once the pressure becomes too much, he leaves the studio without confirming either one. "All right. Here's the truth. I am going back to bed." Saget!Ted tells the kids that they never found out what really happened to Uncle Marshall's wallet. "But we do know this: Aunt Lily never got a gun; Robin's credibility remained unimpeached; and Bobo and Milly lived out their days together, in the Central Park Zoo." I'm thinking Uncle Marshall has got to be a monkey's uncle, because at this rate, Ted is never going to meet the mother.