In a voice that makes me want to smack him just on principle, Spencer smarms, "Marshall's about to read a big ol' magazine! In the bathroom that you all share with him! Heh heh heh heh heh." Oh, shudder! Make it go away.
We slide back to the apartment. Robin suggests that Marshall "read a magazine" without the literal magazine. He and Ted pooh-pooh this suggestion. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not, because I didn't bring in the potty humor, I'm just weecapping it (oh, damn). The worst part for Marshall is that the stretch of hallway from his office to the restroom is a "gauntlet of judging eyes." We see him pass his boss, her boss (Bilson!) and "I-Can't-Believe-He-Has-A-Wife Donald" (which must be New York hip for gay, today) and they're all sneering at him, as Marshall imagines their thoughts. At any rate, he'd rather "read a magazine" at Ted's. Robin won't give in, refers to the place as "our apartment" (hmmm) and demands Marshall's key.
Marshall, whose hair is still adorably short, says, "Yeah, I'm not going to do that." When Robin tries to protest, he puts on his best, "Good day to you, sir," voice and says, "I seem to recall a deal being struck between three parties, wherein none would discuss a certain event that transpired. An event of the..." (he makes bed creaking sounds) "...persuasion. That key, madam, buys my silence. Good day to you both." His flounce-off is such that I keep hearing Spike say, "Prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!"
At MacLaren's, we learn that secret didn't last long, because Lily is blasting Ted and Robin for hooking up. Marshall thanks his wife, and places his key in Robin's already outstretched hand. Barney's visibly disturbed. "Wow. You two slept together. That is awf... some. Awfffssssome. Nice work, Ted. Tap that." I don't know how anyone at that table can buy into his bravado, but I guess their self-absorption helps. Robin and Ted defend their choice, but Lily gives them the standard (and relatively accurate, if you ask me) spiel about how it could ruin their friendship, noting that when exes try to engage in something casual, someone always gets hurt. Saget!Ted narrates, "Turned out Lily was right, but more on that later," just in case we didn't notice Lily was making A Statement, and just in case we could never guess it's going to be Barney who gets hurt, this time. Thanks, Saget!Ted! Now, about this air stuff -- is it for breathing? Robin explains that they've thought of that already, and set up ground rules. And we...