Flashback to the apartment. Ted tells Robin, "Okay, rule number one: This is strictly a physical relationship. There are no feelings involved, okay?" Robin says, "Oh, please, that's like telling the Fonz to be cool." Hey writers, how come Ted doesn't get to zing her with some "hot off the press topical reference" thing? The Fonz was around long before nerds infiltrated the Tri-Lambs. She and Ted agree they don't have to worry about romance, can watch TV during, and multi-task to spice up activities like folding laundry and paying bills. After brief consideration, they draw the line at having sex while cooking dinner. Ted's worried about hygiene, but I'd be afraid of spatters. Oh. Maybe he is, too. Ahem. I said don't blame me. Take it to the writers.
Back at MacLaren's, both Ted and Robin confirm that now that they're having sex, they're no longer fighting. Ted gives credit to poor Barney, citing his World Peace thing. After Ted and Robin high-five one another for "achieving peace" (repeatedly), Barney picks up his drink then puts it down again. "So I'm -- I'm responsible for..." he points his finger from Robin to Ted. "Excellent. Excellent. Excellent." His left eye twitches each time he says the word. He rises slowly and gestures toward the table. "Uh... next round's on ME!" Poor baby.
Lily follows Barney to the bar. He tries to play it cool, but Lily calls him out on his feelings for Robin, noting that he's weeping openly. He insists he's fine, but you know I would, too, because Lily's sort of all gleeful that he still cares for Robin, which might be fine if they hadn't just found out she's sleeping with Ted. She's a little sadistic, that Lily. I wonder what it would take to get her to flay a man? (And have you ever noticed Ted could be Warren's better-looking brother... okay, maybe cousin?) Barney excuses himself from Lily's TLC that's neither T nor L and retreats to the alley behind the bar. He walks past the dumpster, pauses, returns to it, picks up a TV from atop it and smashes it to the ground. He returns to the bar, smiling, and telling Lily he's totally fine. Lily wants him to learn how to express his feelings, so I guess she wasn't spying on him in the alley. She suggests he talk to a psychiatrist. "Please. If I'm gonna pay some woman $200 an hour to make me feel better, we aren't going to be talking. And we're both going to be on that couch." Lily gives him a blank stare, so Barney continues, "The woman in this scenario is a prostitute. A dirty, skanky, surgically enhanced, Eastern European..." Unamused, Lily insists she's got it, and turns away.