Barney says, "Dude, I 'read a magazine' at work every day. I can't tell you how many meetings I've been late to because I was busy 'reading a magazine.' But I don't feel bad about it. That's my time. Sure, 'reading a magazine' ain't pretty, but you know, it's something I gotta do, so why be ashamed about it?" Not for nothing, this seems to be the attitude I've noticed in most guys I ever worked with. They'd practically dance off to the bathroom, newspaper under their arms. It was gross, much like this B-plot. The gang seems impressed with Barney's casual attitude about normal bodily functions though, forgetting what's normal for Barney's body when functioning. Barney: "Wait, 'reading a magazine' means masturbating, right?" No, dude. Aren't you reading the weecap? It means poop.
Another day at Ted's, he comes charging into the living room, angrily chastising Robin for drinking all his milk, yet again. She suggests they have sex, and he cheerfully agrees. Raise your hand if you think Ted planned that as foreplay. At MacLaren's, Ted raves to Barney about how it's the perfect set-up: "One minute we're just laying into each other, and then the next minute... Well, same thing." Barney declares this awesome, but his heart's not in it, and soon he's out in the alleyway, smashing another discarded TV. What are all those TVs doing in a dumpster, anyhow? Doesn't anyone care about the environment?
Another day, Ted brags to Barney that Robin was yelling at him for taking too long in the shower, and then ended up joining him. Barney says this is, "So awesome," through gritted teeth, then goes out to the alley to kill another TV.
Yet another day, Ted joins Barney in MacLaren's and apologizes for being late because he was jammin' on Scherbatsky. She used up all my stamps, so long story short, the postman rang twice." He holds out his fist to Barney. "You must bump this!" Barney struggles through it, and runs to the alley to find the dumpster empty. His supply's been cut off.