MacLaren's. Crazy Blah Blah loves the story and says that it was like when she was in cooking class with Ted and their hands touched for the first time. She knew he would take her to the roof, kiss her and give her a rose. "Which he did!" she exclaims. Crazy! "Say 'Awwww!' " she insists, just like my dentist did earlier today. Everyone at the table says it, against their will. She offers to get the next round of drinks. When she gets up to go, Barney gives Ted a look. Ted says anybody would be stressed out meeting new people. He says she's not crazy. "Crazy-generous, maybe." Ted's in big trouble.
After commercials, Blah Blah is back at the table. She asks how Barney and Robin met. In disbelief, Robin looks at Barney and keeps repeating, "No." Over and over again. She says she and Barney aren't together. "Really?" Barney asks, "16 no's?" Blah Blah says, in an obviously threatened way, that Robin is single, attractive, and friends with Ted. "Great!" she says. Everyone is uncomfortable. Ted deflects by telling the story of how he and Marshall met.
It was the first day of college. Marshall is sitting on a bottom bunk bed, reading a magazine. The year is 1996. SagetTed says that Marshall was doing something a lot of college kids do. The way he's holding the magazine and hiding his hand, I really thought he was masturbating. With all of his clothes on. I just figured Marshall was really talented. ["Weirdly, I thought the same thing." -- Joe R] SagetTed says that what Marshall was doing was...let's just say, "Eating a sandwich." Ahhh, I get it. Smokin' the chronic! Marshall lifts up a little hoagie with two fingers and inhales some of it. He intakes some breath sharply and starts giggling. Ha ha. A dude in dreadlocks pokes his head in through the open door and says the Dean is coming and for Marshall to put out his "Sandwich." Marshall, panicked, sticks his hoagie in an ashtray and sprays air freshener. Teenaged Ted appears. "Hey!" he says. He's got on the fake John Lennon eyeglasses. Marshall, baked (on sandwich), thinks it's really the dean. He calls him "Sir." They shake hands. Ted introduces himself. Marshall calls him, "Dean Ted." Ted sniffs and says playfully, "Whoah, someone's been eatin' a sandwich!" Marshall pretends not to even know what a sandwich smells like. He freaks out a little. It's funny. Ted's happy to have top bunk. He reveals that he's Marshall's new roommate. Marshall is devastated, having to room with the dean and all. We side-whoosh for Marshall to needlessly explain that he didn't know Ted wasn't the dean until later that night. Side-whoosh right back to show Ted biting off the end of a really long hoagie. Marshall walks in on him. "You're not the dean!" Marshall says. They both giggle. True friendship!