Ted goes upstairs to find Stella but runs into Lucy, instead. Bruce Springsteen's "Jersey Girl," which must have cost our show a pretty penny, plays in the background. All the noise kept her up and she can't go to sleep without a story. When Ted offers to find Stella, Lucy asks him to read to her. Aw. Bruce sings, "You know she thrills me with all her charms, when I'm wrapped up in my baby's arms." We see Stella sitting on a staircase, looking more dejected than Barney's fist. Bruce keeps singing; Ted keeps reading; Lucy falls asleep; Ted falls in love with New Jersey. He goes to Stella and puts his arms around her. "I'm moving here." She looks so tired and frayed. "Really?" "Really. New Jersey wins." They kiss and for this moment at least, I want her to be the mother.
Robin screeches up to the Metro News 1 Studio. The door is locked but she gets in at the last minute, rushes to the newsroom, pushes aside nervous Brian, throws off her helmet, grabs the news copy and starts reading. "Good evening, New York." Barney, Lily and Marshall watch her from Stella's cellar. "The newborn Panda at the Central Park Zoo got its first tooth, today. I guess that makes her a..." Robin looks nauseated. "...a molar bear. Molar bear. Molar bear. You know what, I really am done. Goodnight, New York." She rises, takes off her microphone, and walks off camera. Lily is surprised. Barney, whose arm is now suspended by some sort of sash, asks if she thinks they had anything to do with that. Lily does. She says, "Nice job, Barney," and bumps his knuckles. "Oh my God. Thank you-ou-ou." He unties the sash and grabs his poor, sore arm. In the background, Marshall's drinking beer and pretending he's married to Stella or at least is her houseboy. Barney says, "My arm hasn't been this sore since I was 13 years old and figured out how to lock a bathroom door." Ugh. He goes for a high five, "Up top," but Lily's disgusted too, and shakes him off.