Just then Robin arrives at the rooftop smokery. She's got an interview with the mayor, set for tomorrow. When the gang congratulates her, she says, "Yeah, Don can suck it, while I suck this." And Barney doesn't make a crack. The breakup has changed him -- at a cellular level. Robin takes out a cigarette. "Light me, Marshall." He tells her they've decided they're all quitting. Robin says, "That's fantastic! I'm sick of you guys bumming my cigarettes." Ted tells her they can't do it unless they all do it together. Robin sticks her unlit butt between her teeth. "No." Lilystein sweetens the pot by telling Robin she can sleep with Marshall. Marshall turns to his wife and reaches for her face. "Oh God, Lily, nooo." Lilystein tells him to take one for the team. I think she's been bucking for a tricycle including Scherbatsky for a while. Robin says she doesn't want to sleep with Marshall. Lilystein says, "Right..." as Marshall says, "I've seen the looks." Robin refuses to quit before the biggest interview of her life. It's too stressful. Barney screams, "TOO STRESSFUL!" Lilystein and Marshall reach for just one more. Ted plays the voice of reason and reminds Robin that Bloomberg is the anti-smoking mayor. "Do you really want to show up to that interview smelling like smoke? It'd be like interviewing a vegetarian, smelling like a McRib." Marshall turns toward his Judas. "Really? Like I'm not going through enough right now?" Ted insists they're all quitting, and finally, Robin agrees. Ted says, "We just have to get through the first 24 hours. After that, it's a cakewalk." Oh, little man. Ignorance is bliss.
MacLaren's; 26 Hours Later: The booth is covered in more food than you can imagine. Lilystein snarls at Barney for biting his nails loudly, but he's just trying to suck the nicotine off his fingers. Ted asks Marshall to pass the onion rings, and Marshall snaps back at him. "What -- you got dinosaur arms? They're right here." Barney reminds me far too much of myself in this scene. "What do you think cigarettes are doing right now? You think they're thinking about us?" Ted yells at Marshall for tapping his foot. Marshall says, "Oh, my God, Ted, I'm so sorry. Maybe I should move it a little bit closer to your ASS!" The two men rise, ready to take each other on (although while Ted's putting up his dukes, Marshall is pointing a squirty catsup bottle at him). Saget!Ted says they didn't know what they were fighting about. They just wanted to smoke, more than anything else in the world. Marshall fantasizes about going back in time and literally kicking his 13-year-old self while he's down, after he got sucker-punched in the last fantasy. Hee.