Disclaimer: there may be Britney Spears jokes ahead. I didn't go looking for Britney. She came here. Nevertheless, if there shall be jokes, they will be jokes about Britney Spears: Celebrity Guest Star, not Britney Spears: Train Wreck, as she is dismissively referred to in a million other places. I saw South Park last week, just like you probably did, and I got a little sad and teary eyed and damned if I don't want to see Britney's good side this week. Luckily, she acquits herself fairly well on the show, and hey, good for her. Homegirl needs a break, you know? She's still a mom and a daughter and a person. I don't see what could be gained by being cruel to Ms. Spears. With regards to the site's name, of course we'll be non-pitying, sure, but not cruel.
K-Fed, though? Fair game.
Onward: We begin in the Dermatology & Tattoo Removal Clinic we saw in the "Platinum Rule" episode, and it turns out this next half hour is a companion to that one in that we finally see Dr. Stella and find out what happened on that disastrous non-date that Ted mentioned, but which we never saw. SagetTed is explaining to the "Kids" that sometimes in life you see someone and you instantly know that this is the person for you. We see Ted in the waiting room reading a magazine. Then we see Britney as a girl named Abby. She's the receptionist and looking fairly healthy. She's got long dirty blonde hair and large glasses. They're trying to do a When the Whistle Blows on her to make her instantly sitcom-funny. She stares at Ted and puts a hand to her neck from all the Southern vapors. Oh, merciful heavens! As sexy guitar plays, SagetTed says it can happen anywhere, even in the waiting room of a tattoo removal place. Ted looks up from his magazine grumpily. SagetTed says, "That's what happened when I met..." Long pause to allow Sarah Chalke of Scrubs to appear, looking distracted and wearing a white lab coat. "...Stella," SagetTed finishes. Regular Ted looks up and notices the doctor. The camera zooms in on her, but she's still looking down at her notes. If this were Scrubs, we'd get a little fantasy sequence where she looks up and it bathed in beauteous light. But this is CBS and they don't play that shit. It confuses the nursing home residents.