If you play videogames much, you might remember NBA Jam, where if you scored three baskets in a row, you were "On Fire!" and ran around the court in literal flames because you were just that badass. How I Met Your Mother is now officially on fire. It burninates me to a crisp.
The kids are on the couch in 2030 as SagetTed explains how great his life was in the spring of 2008. One of the kids is wearing way too much makeup for hanging around the house listening to dad's stories, but I won't say which one. SagetTed says that he and Stella had started dating, which I guess means she was receptive to a second date after all. We see Stella and Ted kissing on the street from that episode. We cut to the New York City skyline as SagetTed says that a big raise at work allowed him to buy something that he thought would be the envy of all his friends. On the street, Ted shows off his new blue sedan, which is not quite parked correctly against the curb right in front of MacLaren's, its blue ass sticking out and vulnerable to getting hit. "A new car!" Ted proclaims. Barney, who you'd think would be excited about "A new car!" given that his dad is Bob Barker, instead says with disapproval that Ted is never going to drive the thing. He says it's a stupid purchase and none of them will support it. Then, he suddenly announces, "Shotgun for eternity!" Robin and Barney argue about whether you can really call that. Barney calls being able to call things. Marshall shows up, wearing his suit, looking dazed and confused. "Beer," he says. Lily asks if he's all right. "Beer," he repeats, zombie-like, and points toward the bar.
Cut to the inside of MacLaren's. In the gang's favorite booth, Marshall is downing a pint. He moans weakly as he puts down the glass. Ted asks what happened. Marshall opens up an extended metaphor: he says he was always told that working at a law firm was like being in a war. I think I'm probably going to like this fake war a lot more than the fake one on Eli Stone. As Marshall is telling his story, we cut to the huge office building and then the inside of the firm where Marshall now works, Nicholson, Hewitt & West.