There, Marshall, who is with Lily and Ted, asks Robin about her playbook. Robin narrows her eyes and smiles. "My playbook? Bro... uh..." She motions repeatedly to her breasts. "Two volume set. Right here." Ted says, "It's a great read, actually." Lily is entranced: "I'm reading it right now." That said, Robin insists she's taking a break from romance, so Ted and Marshall insist she's going to fall in love. Instead of locking up his wife, Marshall does a silly, growly Adam Sandler voice, exclaiming, "Soooo soon." The guys then regale Robin with tales of all their friends who once claimed to have sworn off love. Meet Kelly Harris. A law school classmate of Marshall's, Kelly vowed to focus her energies on her studies and, "Six months later? Married." We get a shot of a married couple. Ted relates the story of the backup bartender -- Travis Frenchroy. He declared he was giving up dating in order to concentrate on his Star Trek fan fiction. Six months later? Married. [In Next Gen uniforms, no less. - Zach] Marshall tops that with the story of a GNB accountant, Matthew Blitz, who -- sure he's going to die single and alone -- gives up on love to devote himself to this years taxes. Six month's later? We see a shot of him and his husband, as Marshall says, "Civil union and planning to get married, pending the passage of legislation currently on the floor of the New York State Senate." Robin can pooh-pooh them all she wants. By bowing out of the scene, she's uttered the magic incantation for meeting the the one. Ted says it's a law of nature. Marshall agrees. "Lawyered! Of nature." Ted says he'd love to have no interest in a relationship. There's no way he'd be single right now if he wanted to be. And although it makes no sense, Lily then pronounces him ready to meet her co-worker Shelly (Eva Amurri; Jackie, Californication). She's known Shelly was perfect for Ted since she met her three years ago, but Ted's just hearing about it now, because three years ago, when Lily brought Shelly to MacLaren's for a surprise Meet & Greet, Ted was showing Marshall how many chicken fingers he could stuff in his mouth at once. The visual activates my gag reflex, so use your imagination. When Lily sees what's going on, she pretends she can't spot Ted, claims he's probably out doing charity work, and ushers Shelly off to another bar. I can't overstate how hard the chicken finger thing pushes my gag button, so I'm glossing. At any rate, Lily will set Ted up with Shelly, as long as he promises not to be doing anything stupid when she shows up. He keeps the promise, but Shelly stands him up! We cut to...