MacLaren's: Barney sits at the semi-round in his SCUBA gear, as Lily, Marshall, Ted, Claire and Robin sit at the regular booth, and Lily shows off the playbook. She had an actress-friend play the vulnerable mark, steal the playbook, and hand it off. We flashback to Ted's as Barney learns the truth. "An actress. Of course! That explains her impeccable diction and sluttiness." Lily's tempted to post the playbook on the Internet. Barney says, "You wouldn't." Lily says she won't, provided he agrees to no more scams, cons, hustles, hoodwinks, gambits, stratagems and bamboozles. And no more skank tramps, with their whatzits and whoozles. Barney looks hopeful as he does the math. "I notice you left out flimflams?" Lily waves her index finger in his face as she yells, "No more flimflams!" She does not like them, Stinson man.

MacLaren's: Robin apologizes for interrupting, but she has to show the gang (and Claire) the next play.

The Ted Mosby: (not to be confused with The Mosby) Barney, wearing a flannel shirt over a T-shirt, holds up a diamond ring to his latest mark and tells her he got left at the altar. The girl grabs his hands with one hand and rubs his arm with the other. Twink.

Ted declares "The Ted Mosby" awful, but wonders aloud if it would work. But Marshall tells him there are worse things in there, which brings us to...

The My Penis Grants Wishes: The mark says, "Really? A genie comes out of it?" Barney, dressed in a green jinn suit says, "Only if you rub hard enough." Twink.

Claire wants to know what happened with Barney after Lily threatened him with publishing the playbook. Lily says, "A few hours later," and we flash back to Ted's apartment. Barney enters in the SCUBA suit and announces that he'll be at MacLaren's performing the SCUBA Diver play from his book. Robin, reading her paper, just shakes her head. After he flops out in his flippers, Lily picks up her MacBook, proclaims she's putting the playbook on the Internet, and then sweetly asks Marshall to do it. He's engrossed in the playbook, though, and has to point out that there's no SCUBA Diver play in it. We cut to...