Human Target

Episode Report Card
Montykins: B- | 1405 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Russian Job

A byoo-tee-ful woo-mun in a red dress slinks up to talk to Chance. She's Carrie Jacobs, Baxter's guest. Chance gets on the Invisible Phone to tell Winston that Carrie's a hooker that Baxter hired, and she walks over to interrupt his not-at-all-surreptitious conversation with no one. He slips her forty bucks before the table collapses, sending ice sculpture everywhere, then he grabs a keycard and goes upstairs after Volkoff. She's still standing downstairs radiating shock and disapproval. Upstairs, Chance uses the keycard to sneak into a room.

Guerrero breaks into an apartment while wearing a gas mask. The neighbor lady is suspicious.

Chance talks a lot during his sneaking. It's not the way I'd do it, but I guess he's the professional. He listens in on Volkoff as he talks to the Spetsnaz (Russian special forces, which I know because I played a lot of certain spy-themed role-playing games in my youth). He also steals a letter opener because you never know when you'll need to open an envelope. Chance hides under a desk when someone comes looking for him, but Volkoff calls the guy away. Chance reports to Winston that there are way too many Spetsnaz on site for regular cocktail party, and he thinks that they're looking for the same spy he is.

Searching Aaron's place, Guerrero has a purple flashlight, which might do something in the CSI vein. Or he might just like purple flashlights. The room is pretty well lit, which means he doesn't really need a flashlight at all. And as Chance flips through the Russian guard roster, his nose starts bleeding. Guerrero calls in to report that the poison is airborne and lethal. And Chance breathed the air from that apartment too! Ticking clock!

Winston describes the symptoms, which eventually include a loss of motor skills. That'll be hilarious! And then Carrie shows up and kicks Chance in the face. Fight scene! The music wants us to think that it's like a tango, but it isn't, really. It's more like a fight scene. I recapped So You Think You Can Dance this last season, so I'm pretty sure I know the difference. Anyway, Carrie ends up sitting on Chance's chest poking a pen into his neck, but he's got the letter opener poking into her leg, so they're at a standoff. Chance explains the sitch. Oh god, I mean "situation". Please don't tell anyone I said "sitch". Carrie introduces herself as "Emma Barnes" of the FBI, who hates "scumbag mercenaries" like she assumes Chance to be. Should they be having this conversation in the security office like this?

Human Target

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