Human Target
Pilot

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Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
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The Unsinkable Train

Hello! What's going on here? The ominous voiceover guy says that viewer discretion ... is advised. Well, don't you worry, OVOG. I can be discreet. I can be very discreet ... indeed.

Wait. Now it's a different Ominous Voice-Over Guy. That's confusing. Is this whole show going to be told in Ominous Voice-Over? This time, someone is telling us about how difficult it is to blend in. Well, okay. His voice fades from Ominous to Twitchy, which is weird. There's no time to think about it, though, because we're in the middle of a hostage situation! Or so I gather from the guy with the gun and the people cowering on the floor. He's the one doing the opening narration, and he's on the phone to a cop (I guess) who's asking him to send some of the employees out. You know, in medias res is a fine literary technique, but it's a pain to recap. Although it does let me bust out Latin phrases like "in medias res," so it's not all bad. Before we cut outside to show the SWAT team assembling, there's a shot of a guy duct-taped to an office chair. His head is covered by a bag, but I assume he's the president of the bank (or wherever we are) and that he's the guy whose snazzy portrait is on the wall behind him. It doesn't seem fair that his head is in a bag. But all the other hostages are cowering on the ground while he's in a comfy chair, so I guess it balances out.

The Bad Guy (who has a vest covered in what I assume are explosives) orders "everybody but Lydecker" out. They all rush out of the generic office building, and we're left with the guy in the chair and the bad guy. Chair Guy asks if they're alone and seems pretty casual and relaxed about the whole situation. Also, he's no longer duct-taped to the chair. Suddenly, the bad guy is all jumpy. Outside, the cop finds a white-haired dude, who turns out to be Thomas Lydecker. "If you're out here, then who's that inside?" he asks. [Am I the only one who wonders if Lydecker was an intentional 'Dark Angel' reference? -- Angel]

Inside, the Chair Guy stands up and takes the bag off his head. Now that he's standing up, he's not really Chair Guy, but I don't know how long it'll be before the show takes mercy on me and gives him a name. The bad guy recognizes him as an auditor, but that is also not accurate. Chair Guy takes off his suit coat and tie while explaining to the bad guy that sending threatening letters for weeks is not a good way to take someone by surprise. He recommends action, not threats. He is not at all fazed by the gun pointed at his head and calmly corrects the bad guy's metaphors (Lydecker can't be both a snake and a rat at the same time) while giving us some exposition: the bad guy was a salesman for eight years and then got fired by Lydecker, leaving him with no severance, and no savings. Well, whose fault is the lack of savings? Chair Guy doesn't think Lydecker deserves to die for that. He calmly says, "I'm going to take that gun away from you. Guns are dangerous; they're not for messing around" then, in a quick action sequence, he does. But the bad guy still has his explosives vest! He starts to walk outside so he can blow up while closer to Lydecker, but Chair Guy shoots him. Then there's an enormous, slow-motion explosion in the lobby.

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Human Target

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